James Allen; such a nice man

[jb44]

Greetings Sniffers

Here in the sunny colony, reserved exclusively for shady people, the March issue of our cable TV programme features young Lewis Hamilton on the cover with the headline : Hamilton Champ in 2008? If its like that here, where most people do not have either televisions or cars, what must the hype be like in the civilised world? No really, I'm asking.

Herewith a list of things I do not know :

If Hamilton is champ, will it make up for 2007?
If Kimmi wins again, will I notice?
If Alonso wins, will Britain and Spain be at war?
If anyone else wins, will I be able to spell their name?

Oh, by the way, you know the rumour that lions and zebras can be found strolling along the dusty roads leading through our villages? Not true, so much, anymore, moving on. There is only one thing about the 2008 F1 season I am willing to predict : James Allen is going to irritate me more than a curable venereal disease; and that he will be around, like, forever. About the actual racing? I have more chance of predicting the next President of the US of Effin A.

But that does not mean that we cannot start enjoying the F1 season already, oh-no-Sirree-Bob it does not. (Verbs okay Gonzales?) Let us now unite in our mutual despising of the Dreaded Cock! Just one eety-bitty little problem, I cannot think of anything new. I have called him every name I can think of, I have suggested he was sired and/or spawned by any number of species, I have cursed his entire family and I have burned effigies of the entire British Isles. I've got nothing left, but, and of this I am sure, you must surely be able to think of some original insults, after all, you fornicate women too.

So here is the mini-forum for eviscerating James Allen : Let the bile flow like diarrhoea in Chatsworth during paw-paw season. Come on; you know you want to.

Yours
Johan-the-Sensitive

[lwindridge]

I did notice when my ears stopped bleeding for a moment that the mighty cock was still lamenting that Schumacher wasn't on the grid still.
Can we just have a whip round and have this feckless idiot shot or something to put us all out of out misery??

[theduisbergkid]

I think you're trying too hard, his name is now synonymous with the word 'cock', therefore, he is simply 'James Allen'.

[NoahsGirl]

There is one solution, watch the GP with the mute button on. Granted, you would not be able to here the wisdom of Martin 'Patience of a Saint' Brundle, but what would be the prettier of two evils?

[3dcandy]

Originally Posted by NoahsGirl

There is one solution, watch the GP with the mute button on. Granted, you would not be able to here the wisdom of Martin 'Patience of a Saint' Brundle, but what would be the prettier of two evils?

how long has jenson been unable to speak? i'm lost :-(