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Kankku off road driving experience...


motormouth23
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Hi all,

Was given the opportunity to take part in an off road driving day in exchange for an article. So far I have done a first draft (posted below) and would be grateful for any suggestions for improvements or indeed and criticisms you may have.

Thanks

Motormouth

A while ago I was asked who I believed to be the most powerful group in the world. A few names thrown around were Murdoch’s News Corporation, The Coca-Cola Company and, dare I repeat it, Al Qaeda. “Nope, no and definitely not”, I exclaimed, “You’re all wrong; it’s the bloody Greens”. You see the most influential, corrupt and indeed powerful organisation in the world is the Environmentalist movement. Surprised you may be but think about it. When not spending their weekends navigating minefields of sheep poo and mole hills they are riding bicycles, wearing peace beads and recycling their shoes.

In other words they are setting an example. As noble citizens they are building a moral high ground from which they can launch their carbon-free dictatorship. A quick breeze through the internet reveals an extensive network of homosexual vegetarians ready overthrow our oil hungry planet trashing economy. Once in power they will bring modern day civilisation to an abrupt halt. Arabian oil Kings will be murdered, planes will be banned, cars will be cannibalised and our road networks replanted with foreign bush matter.

Oh, you may guffaw now but guess what; signs of this authoritarianism are already emerging. This theory is something Nick Fieldhouse, owner of Kankku off road driving experience, has very little time for. As a self confessed dictator he too believes the world is fragile and as the main inhabitants it’s up to us to treat it with care. However, I can’t help but notice a slight paradox in his reasoning, mainly because whilst explaining this we are rumbling through the quiet lakeside town of Windermere in a bright orange Land Rover Defender.

You don’t have to be a key hole surgeon to work out that such a vehicle is about as atmospherically friendly as a two foot Cuban cigar. But again Nick seems absolutely disinterested in my observations. Some would say he is in denial but maybe Nick is a realist. Struggling to hear the boss over the tremendous noise protruding from just about every orifice in our Land Rover, he tells me he isn’t one of the above mentioned vegetarian homosexuals. He loves his cars, in particular his Land Rovers, but at the same time realizes they should be driven with the environment and surroundings in mind.

A couple of years ago the Environmentalists landed a pretty heft punch to the Kankku operation. Like a cheap low blow they managed to castrate over seventy off road trails surrounding the frankly dramatic Lake Windermere. Tracks so isolated and inhospitable they make Wales seem like a city centre, I too share Nick’s aggravation at their closure. Nonetheless the army of seven orange off roader’s have continued their advance across the remaining mountainous tracks and, as always, would like you to join them.

Which is what I did, and having no off road experience whatsoever was told I would be taking the lead vehicle. I would be heading an expedition of four 4x4’s, one of which belonging to Kankku the other two being privately owned by a pair I shall call the Bling Brothers. Having never actually found out their real names a quick glance towards their Defenders suggests they are men that, given the choice, would have been born with diamond encrusted teeth and Cashmere hair. As a result adorning their bumpers were several grand’s worth of winch equipment, lighting and other accessories of a cool nature.

In the world of off road driving such matters of style are strictly redundant. As we twist and wind our way towards the first of the rocky roads we will tackle Nick explains that when it comes to getting up the steeper inclines they will be stuffed. He goes on to say when tackling uneven surfaces all you really need is a set of proper off road tyres, just about the only thing the Bling Brothers don’t have.

Arriving at a farm gate so narrow Victoria Beckham would struggle to get through it, Nick climbs out and tells me to get into the drivers seat. The first impression is the sheer manliness of the thing. Like the mind of a simpleton everything has a place, a function and a purpose. There is a huge sense of durability, of roughness, of laddish cocking around.

Gear changes are carried out with the sort of aggression usually associated with beating someone to death; the clutch is heavy enough to crush a house and the steering inputted by you, the driver, has about as much influence as the tick you place in the box at a general election. What this means is that you will most probably have a crash and most or at least stall one million times.

However, everything is taken in good humour and Nick and his team are constantly on hand to help improve your driving. Whether its how best to approach a track or how to use the mechanical intelligence of the car to help you find the easiest and, in most cases, unthinkable routes through these lanes they are always there to support you. They also encourage you. Straddling a rock my fellow Kankku driver simply wasn’t giving it enough power. Over the radio it was clear he was a little terrified about the prospect of trashing thirty grand’s worth of Land Rover. “Look”, boomed the instructors voice, “It’s not your own car, not your responsibility. Now, give it some f*****g gas”.

That’s a very good point though. “It’s not your car”, “not your responsibility”. The Bling Brothers were obviously looking at the situation from a slightly different angle. Having parted with many thousands of pounds for their Defenders they seemed a down sight more cautious when it came to “giving it some f*****g gas”. However, one such situation required the driver to do so. Having just done the hill climb myself I fell out of my car and walked to the top of the hill to watch him follow up. Before I could make it to the brow I heard a crack so loud I thought I may have simultaneously broken every bone in my body.

A quick check of my arms and legs showed I was ok however one half of the Bling Brothers fleet was not. The crack turned out to be one of his differentials exploding under the huge amounts of pressure it was subjected to during the climb. Also the fact he was running standard road tyres and that his accessories weighed roughly the same as the moon played a role in his downfall. Nonetheless, the damage rendered his car useless for the rest of the hill section and so found itself parked up on the side of the road looking good but not really going anywhere.

The descent provided a challenge in the field of braking. Trail braking is a technique taught by Kankku and one which I don’t understand in the slightest. What I do know is that it allows the car to travel down pretty much any surface imaginable in a controlled manor. Its something which once mastered drastically improves day to day driving let alone anything you may do off road. Once again I managed to get myself to the bottom pretty much trouble free. Then came the turn of the remaining Bling Brother.

The point at which the back of the car hit the rock and the moment his rear suspension failed are quite hard to define. Again, the sound was so abrupt and cringe worthy we all found ourselves laughing before we really knew what was going on. Needless to say once the dust had settled the damage was clear for all to see. With one half of the Bling Brothers running on rear wheel drive only and the other driving on the piss, our convoy made its way back to Kankku HQ.

Whilst on the ferry crossing I began to think that maybe the greens are right. Lake Windermere is so mysteriously beautiful I can understand the need and the want to protect it. But then I thought back through our day and in particular the care Nick and his team had made so not to damage any of the surroundings. In fact the only real damage done was of that to the Brothers of Bling.

Sadly I don’t think this is an argument the greens will be interested in. By now they have made up their minds and stage one of the revolution is underway. Therefore the only solution is to immediately book yourself onto a Kankku experience day before it’s too late. Just don’t be like the Bling Brothers and bring you own car. After all, what can be cooler than driving a bright orange Land Rover Defender?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Youth

So entertaining do I find your writing that I can no longer stay silent. In a very short space of time you have found your own, original voice. Your exquisitely observed description of the Bling Brothers still has the power to reduce me to helpless mirth. Rest assured, your articles have been printed and filed; next to my own, of course.

It is not only your writing which impress, your thought-process speaks of a maturity much beyond your tender years. Which is why I'm hoping for your input about an issue which has been the cause of great strife within my social circle. I am, of course, referring to Global Warming; more specifically: Has my generation irrevocably effed up the planet for your generation?

The simple fact that American Republicans and Australian convicts both, are now prepared to consider the fact that us humans may just have screwed the planet, is, to me, proof absolute that it is much, much too late to do anything about it. My best friend however, believes that by cutting greenhouse gasses we may still help Mother Nature get her groove back, while my brother is of the opinion that the entire subject of global warming is a farce and a great falsehood.

As for Billy-Bob the Arkansas Whoremonger's ex-bitch, Al Gore receiving the Nobel Prize for sponsoring a documentary containing 9 (I repeat; NINE) factual errors, well that doesn't help does it? All of which is irrelevant; in fifty years time (when the planet will be cooking) me and my generation will be dead. You and your generation will be alive still. Since you will inherit our legacy, what do you think?

Both Sky News and the BBC is of the opinion that Britain's education policy is reducing your generation to illiteracy and delinquency. Your writing proves this to be a lie; what else are they wrong about?

Please do keep writing and just in case the planet is indeed utterly fecked; please accept my sincerest apologies.

A Merry Christmas and a glorious 2008 for you and your loved ones.

Kind Regards

Johan Buchner

Polluter

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Dear Johan,

Many thanks for your kind words.

With regards to your friend and his attitude to global warming just ask him this. What exactly do carbon dioxides look like? You see as of yet I haven't been able to get an answer out of anybody. We are constantly told that a flight to france drops ten tonnes of the dam things and that our cars cough out around two for every ten miles we travel. We are told that these co2's are burning a hole in our ozone layer and that we must stop emitting them.

Well thats all well and good but I could stand here and say that GPS is the main player in reducing the number of fish that are left in the atlantic ocean. Clearly this is bollocks but if I could support this with evidence that the fishermen who trawl these sea's have a much larger catch rate when using such tools, my agument takes on a much more serious slant. With the Global Warming Con this is where the argument falls down.

Scientists with big foreheads and white coats sit in labs and punch away at calculators and computers and emerge several months later saying "guess what guys, we're fecked". They have no direct proof, no research, no methodology. They just have a prediction.

As for your generation being to blame for the state of the planet I have this to say. Global Warming is in fact a natural cycle. Our planet heats and cools over many many years. On the brink of the last ice age there was a significant rise in global temperature. People bought shorts, sunglasses, drank Pimms and Lemonade, worked on their tan and settled down for the summer.

But then it came. The cold, the ice, the wooly mamoth and the eskimo. Our government is worried that in fifty years time we will all be living in an oven. Once again they are hugely misguided- we will all be frozen solid.

As a result of it being a natural cycle blame can't fall on anyone other than mother nature. Ok, we use cars and they do environmental damage. But we also allow rapists to walk free after six years, murderers to get off scott free. Surely this level of damage is greater than anything of a climate nature.

We all live in a culture where blame is rife. Anyone who suffers unduely has the right to be compensated. Someone is always at fault, something could have been done to prevent such a hardship. Global Warming is now a walking law suit. People are to blame and compensation muct be found.

As always this recompense comes from the upper classes- the people who work hard, earn hard and play hard. Because I own a car, use air travel and have a fridge I am in fact responsible for the demise of planet Earth. I should therefore hand over my earnings so that the poor people without a car, who dont go on holiday and who don't have a freezer can feel better about themselves. Oh, and I can also buy Gordon Brown a nice new car or cover the cost of the Live Earth Concert (The feckin irony! How much energy was wasted in musical extravaganza to promote climate awaness. Bastards).

In fact Johan I look forward to inheriting your legacy. I will embrace the gradual warming of our planet. I will buy my shorts, wear my sunglasses and sip of my pims and lemonde. I will drive a hefty V8, I will travel by air and I will smoke one million cigars a year. I will embrace my fridge and I will brandish David Cameron a retarded hypocrit.

I belive that the only solution with regards to returning our world to what it once was is to set up an international dictatorship. Called the Anti-****ers party it will stand for everything that politicians no longer stand for. Climate is not a serious concern. Terrorism, rapists, murderers, the un-educated youth (many are and, food for thought here, this is maybe because an intellectual free thinker is harder to presuade and convince than a simpleton, poverty, child cruelty...the list goes on. As a party we will be popular. We will appeal to the masses and we well have the financial backing of the many middle-upper classes who are robbed on a daily basis by governments the world over.

Until this day I encourage you to do what I do. Enjoy every minute of your life. If you want to drive a car drive a car. If you want to go on holiday go on holiday. You never know, today may be your last.

(Please find below a short article I wrote several months ago for a newspaper I do a little bit of writing for).

<u>Welcome to the Globe of warming</u>

A few years ago I took part in an exchange trip to China and take it from me, its one very abstract place. People ride round on bikes accompanied by rare and exotic birds, they eat snakes from jars and men stick their nasal discharge on toilet cubicle walls. The road system is much like the blind leading the stupid and their language sounds like some sort of Disney theme gangbang.

I did find some solace, however, in the young man I was staying with as he seemed to be the most unfortunate individual in the entire human race. In the ten days I was staying with him he suffered the following ill fate. He got the squits- six times, woke up in the middle of the night with a platoon of mosquitoes biting his face, had his cat run over, stood in dog poo, broke his glasses, fell up an escalator, was stung many times by a variety of flying insects, dropped and stood on his electronic translator, single handedly lost his form group sports day and, finally, had to share a bed with his grandmother ( I was occupying the spare room). I really did feel truly sorry for him.

My trip to china is one that I will remember for the rest of my life. The sights, the smells, the obscurity. These are things that can only be experienced through the experience. The written word does it no justice. Sadly though, the written word may be the last we get to see of china or indeed other far flung corners of the earth. Why? Two words, “Global” and “Warming”.

I shall make it clear now that I think global warming is a tax sucking, penny pinching, guilt inducing, power boosting load of codswallop. The global warming phenomenon is one that has been created out of a few wayward figures and a small selection of politicians looking to secure the vote of the beards. To say that the planet is getting hotter is in fact reciting common sense. Natural evolution follows a cycle, one which heats the planet just before it drops it straight into an ice age. It therefore seems a trifle stupid to suggest that our cars, holidays, fridges, deodorant cans and breath are in fact killing our own existence.

Another point I would like to make is this. We are told that a flight from the U.K to China we are dumping thirty tonnes of Carbon Dioxides into the atmosphere. But answer this. What exactly do thirty tonnes of Carbon Dioxides look like? Can you fit them into a Coke bottle or do you need something as humongous as Rik Waller’s stomach? Do thirty tonnes of carbon dioxides actually do any damage or do the trees feast on the whole lot?

The government and associated experts are very vague on what information we are given yet are very clear on the taxes we will face. The can’t tell us what a carbon dioxide looks like but they can tell me it will cost me 50p for each one I leave behind. To me this doesn’t provide any grounding for saving the world. My £20 flight tax isn’t going to glue the polar ice caps back together. More likely than not it will bankroll Al Gore’s next attempt at Nazi mass propaganda.

The really ironic this is that it matter not in the slightest what method of prevention, taxes or laws the government conjure up. At the end of the day we are all guest in Hotel Mother Nature. When Armageddon comes the whole show will be under her direction. Therefore the most logical solution is to enjoy it whilst we can. That’s why tonight I’m going to smoke one thousand Cuban cigars, leave my lights on, get in my car and just keep driving until I run out of petrol.

If the world really is falling into an ice age then we might as well enjoy it whilst we can.

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motormouth,

Being myself slightly fed up with the hysterical hype surrounding global warming, and having seen what you can do with words, I was honestly looking forward to your reply until you said this:

"We are told that these co2's are burning a hole in our ozone layer and that we must stop emitting them."

You are an ignorant. You have shown you have no idea about how the global warming mechanism works. Hence, your opinion is disqualified as a meaningless rant. The rest of the text is just you trying to write like Clarkson.

You're fiercely un-pc about climate change. Mmmmmm... that is SOOOO original. I love it when you base your arguments on the fact that you don't have the foggiest about what a CO2 molecule looks like. Don't worry about what it looks like(*). Rather, open a bloody chemistry book where you'll learn what a covalent bond is, how it behaves in the presence of infrared radiation, what is the problem with CO2 and why some people who actually know what a greenhouse gas is think the antropogenic emissions of CO2 have an effect on global warming.

Having the right to have an opinion and an above-average command of your mother tongue doesn't bridge the enourmous gap between your sheer ignorance and an informed view on a very technical issue.

(*) I'm going to use the same sort of argument to deny the existence of electricity. Check this out:

- Nobody can tell what an electron looks like... or even WHERE it is for that matter. Moreover, it was discovered by a man with a big forehead. I therefore declare electrity to be a "tax sucking, penny pinching, guilt inducing, power boosting load of codswallop".

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Well Mr Gonzalez if it's in a text book that must indeed make it true. The fact that you think I'm an ignorant suggests you are a GCSE student or, at a push, maybe A level. As a tip you may consider putting your passion for bonding to one side and consider improving your english.

What you say about covalent bonding frankly bores me and I don't really understand the point you are tying to prove with your little electricity aside. (After-all we are not taxed over and above the cost of our electricity bills).

I get the funny feeling Mr Gonzales that in a few years time you too will own a white coat and spend your days telling me that your computer calculation indicates my laptop is melting the arctic circle and that my house will one day be submerged in a lake.

And I will say the same to you then as I do now. Global Warming, whatever the cause, is being used to front the greatest tax con of modern history. Buy into it at your own peril.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Happy 2008 Motormouth.

From the first word you wrote I knew a new voice has arrived. I only read your reply this morning, after one of the most truly relaxing Christmas Holidays ever. (My secret - I did nothing) I tried very hard to find proof of the ignorance you are being accused of, but to me, admittedly a rather simple-minded fellow, your argument makes a lot of sense and I so agree with you; finding reliable facts and figures is a most frustrating affair. Every-one seems agreed, we are to blame for, well, everything, but no-one can give me any proof of our malfeasance. Lots of hysteria, but no facts.

Let me throw in my tuppence worth. You know that old saying; "cleanliness is next to godliness?" Where we soil we must clean. It is what separates us from the animals. And lets face it, dumping toxic waste into a school playground will be no good for the little ones. Continuing making cars cleaner is good; making factories cleaner, even better. Cleaner airplanes? Why not. I understand pollution as well as I understand the solution. This matters as much as not hunting whales; it's a moral issue, and that should be our motivation. The scare-mongering employed at the moment serves only to alienate the reasonable adult. I accept that the climate is changing but I cannot find any proof that mankind is responsible. So much hype - so few facts. Our beloved planet is in a continual state of change. For the ivory tower denizens to claim we are in control of all this smacks to me of arrogance and self-delusion.

Now for something even less relevant; the spaniard. Tell me Gonzales, have you ever had an original thought? All you do is comment on the thoughts, dreams and arguments of others. And your writing is dull. But please do not stop, village idiots are just sooo adorable.

Regards

Johan Buchner

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  • 1 month later...

Wow...A few weeks away from you, my dear Johan, and when I come back I have become a boring, sheepish, irrelevant village idiot. Coming from you, that means a lot.

But enough about me. Let's resume this interesting ignorance affair. You say you don't see anything wrong with motormouth's argument. Read my first answer again, where I quoted the words that undermine the credibility of his position.

Annoyingly, however, your ideas about the environment are (can't believe I'm about to say this) sensible, balanced and quite similar to mine. You can take that as a compliment.

I hope my village idiot ramblings have been sufficiently dull and adorable. Would hate to let you down. And don't worry, I will not stop.

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... and by the way, I would like to clarify something.

Motormouth, when I called you an ignorant I didn't mean it as a personal attack. What I meant (honest) was "your ideas are the result of (an alarming) lack of familiarity with basic knowledge". But that would have bored you even more, wouldn't it.

;-)

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Hi Gonzales, yes, yes, I am rude, as usual. Never mind that, I need something explained to me. A few days ago a group of (I presume) Alonso supporters dressed up as black people and carried signs identifying themselves as "Hamilton's Family". Not in the best of taste, I think you will agree, but is it anymore offensive than anything I have said about Alonso?

And no Sky News presenter has ever publically stated that any of my attempts at self expression "sickens" her.

Here is my question: Why is it okay to insult Alonso's heritage, but a "sickening act of racism" when Lewis-the-Loser is on the receiving end?

By the way, did you know that being born male, white and heterosexual, in no way, shape or form guarantees an easy life? Strange world.

Peace

Johan

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I'm not sure I understand you. Either:

1) your questions ask for no answer (I would say they are "rhetorical questions", but motormouth can be reading this and he's easily bored); or

2) you're sort of telling me that, since in the past I responded to your attacks against Alonso and everything Spanish, I should now, as a Spaniard, criticize the bunch of racist shitheads (BRS) at Circuit de Catalunya.

So, if 2) applies... everything has already been said. When I responded (after a while) to your attacks I only did it (numbered list again):

1) Because no one else was doing it successfully

2) Because you looked as good a hobby as any other

3) Because it gave me an opportunity to practice my English.

The BRS have been successfully punched in the face (rhetorically, at least... sorry motormouth), talking to them would be boring and predictable, and, crucially, they probably don't speak any English.

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Gonzales I am pleasantly surprised! You are nearly as vituperative as my good self, on a bad-fag day. Teensy little explanation though..... My dislike for all of Spain, and all who sail in her, has nothing to do with the activities of Fernando Alonso, or The Marquis of Portago for that matter; no, no, what Spain did is so infinitely worse, so utterly devoid of humanity, so brutal, so very not nice, that I can barely bring myself to type the words: Spain killed Federico Garcia Lorca.

How does your nation sleep at night?

Now I must Turn and Weep,

Johan Buchner

Lover of Poetry

PS. Your English is much improved. To smote me, it will have to be better still.

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There is absolutely no evidence to support ‘Global Warming’.

I know this sounds like a ridiculous statement against all the media hype and government green agendas. But read behind the headlines and you’ll find the facts.

There was a brilliant article in ‘New Scientist’ magazine a few years ago. Several eminent scientists set out to take a scientific view of ‘warming’ . They took core ice samples from the North Pole looking back over the history of our planet several thousand years. What they found was that the Earth has predictable warming and cooling cycles lasting 100-150 years, as part of it natural ecology. Guess what cycle we are on now – Yes ! warming !

Also, NASA have found evidence (published) that other planets in our solar system are warming – and as far as I know they don’t have 4x4’s and not industrialised !!!

The idea that industrialisation over the last 30-40 years has had any real or lasting impact on our environment is frankly, utterly ridiculous and unscientific and symptomatic of mans over inflated view if himself and his importance to this planet.

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Thanks Johan. Once again, coming from you, that means a lot.

highflying, there is evidence of man contributing to global warming, a lot of evidence, actually. And there is very little evidence against that hypothesis. If you chose to base your views on that small amount of evidence, fair enough, but be aware that yours is a view shared by a tiny fraction of climate scientists. In other words, I don't think that, just because you have an opinion, you can dismiss the evidence of a different one as nonexistent. Especially when the evidence to support your opinion is much less abundant in comparison.

Also, we're not talking about 30 or 40 years of industrialization, but of a couple of centuries. And its not only the effect of CO2 and other greenhouse gases themselves, but the fact that our emissions are contributing to unleash a runaway global warming. To sum it up: more greenhouse effect means more temperature means less ice cover means less radiation sent back to space means more temperature means higher sea temperatures means trilions of tones of dissolved CO2 get released means more greenhouse effect... and so forth (the relationship between these is not as linear as I made it seem, but you get the idea). Having this in mind, I would say yes, 200 centuries of industrializacion can have an effect on our environment.

On the other hand, you speak absolute sense when you say there's a fair amount of media hype and Government opportunism, and that humans have a tendency to self-importance. I would add that some forms of environmentalism are creating a sort of religion around them that is quite worrying.

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Highflyin, I think you are correct. Do you guys remember when science and propoganda were two seperate things? It's not that I fear the truth won't come out - I fear we may not recognise it amidst all the hysteria.

I believe in God. I believe God to be the Creator of every-one and everything. I believe His creation can withstand everything we as mankind can throw at it. What a simple-minded fellow I am.

Of ducks and dogs......

johan

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I will, if I may, add a different perspective.

Lets just say that cars = CO2 = the death of the world as we know it, just for arguments sake.

Well, my car contributes to the wellbeing of the country. Firstly in terms of revenue, I tax it, maintain it, fuel it, insure it, and then use it to convey myself to my place of employment where as well as earning my own measly crust, I contribute to the wellbeing of the country with yet more tax.

Of course, cars are not the only things to emit CO2, people do as well, and there are a seeming horde who embody the governmental view of the car - wasteful, contributing nothing, causing untold damage and spitting out more and more of their number as reproduction seems the only thing they are capable of doing.

So then, never mind persecuting those motorists who actually benefit the modern world, lets persecute those who deserve it! I would like to see every wastrel little 'chav', petty criminal, dead-eyed piece of human effluent, view them as you will, rounded up and disposed of in an efficient and humane manner.

Instantly you have the overall CO2 level produced by these oxygen thieves, these disprovers of Darwin's theory, eliminated. Track it a little further - all the CO2 emissions that they cause are also removed, congestion is eased, property is in less demand so you see less development over the remaining poor little huggable trees, industry is scaled down to fit the remaining intelligent population, the benefits are endless and of course the planet is saved.

Vote me, vote for the cull laugh.gif

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Rational mass extermination would have many advantadges, yes, but little (if any) effect on CO2 emissions.

People (and the rest of living things) are carbon neutral. They're all in the same carbon cycle. Fossil fuels, on the other hand, bring new carbon into the atmosphere from reservoirs which would otherwise remain untouched. That's why biofuels are oh-so-environmentally-friendly despite the fact that cars using them also emit quite a lot of CO2.

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Alright, then. Let me explain that starting by an analogy. Think of the amount of water on Earth. Whether solid, gaseous or liquid, that amount is constant. You can simplify it as follows: water falls as rain or snow, evaporates, condensates as clouds and falls back as rain or snow again. It is a closed-circuit cycle. You cannot bring new water in, and everything is always balanced.

Then you have the carbon cycle. In a (simplified) balanced carbon cycle, living things respirate (produce CO2 from organic matter, which is carbon-based) and grow (increase their mass) thanks to the organic matter on Earth (i.e. other living things or water, sunlight and CO2). Then those living things die and serve as organic matter for other living things, which will eat or otherwise consume them in order to be able to live and/or grow, releasing CO2 in the process(respiration).

Dead or alive, chavs and criminals represent the same amount of carbon which will eventually be respirated as CO2, so they are carbon neutral. Same applies to plants used as biofuels: it doesn't matter how you transform their organic matter in CO2 (whether by eating them or by putting them in your petrol tank). They are carbon neutral as well.

Fossil fuels, on the other hand, are different. They are carbon based (they used to be living matter many thousands of years ago) and bring into a balanced carbon cycle new carbon which is transformed into CO2.

This is all I can do for you, Johan. It's not a very short account, and it's maybe not entirely clear but, should you need any clarification, I'm at your disposal... just this once.

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