Andrew Posted July 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Well, I made do without the female TSN input and it all ended about a week ago - hence my thread wondering about selling the holiday. I'm still living there more for convenience than anything but will ship out once back from hols. Having had a while to think about it I've done my grieving ... she hasn't had such luxury so finds it tough which isn't nice. Massive weight off my mind though and I'm relieved. The holiday destination has loads of watersports and a gym so I might even come back with an elusive 6 pack - although in reality given it is all inclusive I'm likely to only come back with 1! So, thanks for the advice all, it REALLY helped me rationalise my thoughts. TSN, I salute you. Now, what to do with the saved house deposit ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Sorry I'm late and you had to make a decision without me The other thing to remember too is that the grass isn't always greener on the other side! No - its normally younger and dirtier. Get on that mower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Now, what to do with the saved house deposit ... My sort code is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byron13 Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Well, I made do without the female TSN input and it all ended about a week ago - hence my thread wondering about selling the holiday.I'm still living there more for convenience than anything but will ship out once back from hols. Having had a while to think about it I've done my grieving ... she hasn't had such luxury so finds it tough which isn't nice. Massive weight off my mind though and I'm relieved. The holiday destination has loads of watersports and a gym so I might even come back with an elusive 6 pack - although in reality given it is all inclusive I'm likely to only come back with 1! So, thanks for the advice all, it REALLY helped me rationalise my thoughts. TSN, I salute you. Now, what to do with the saved house deposit ... Good for you mate am sure it is tough but will be the best decision in the long run! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 All you need to do now is find yourself some fresh gash :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 All you need to do now is find yourself some fresh gash :D Choice words, as ever Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 All you need to do now is find yourself some fresh gash :D And for that you'll need an expensive car... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Plenty of cheap gash in Mexico!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted July 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 Excellent - not sure how that will go down with my now travelling companion. She comes back to the room to find me "entertaining" the holidaying American young students. Could end in disaster ... but what a story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 how that will go down with my now travelling companion. She comes back to the room to find me "entertaining" the holidaying American young students. Depends if she's your sister, a long term friend or a new lover If the latter applies then I salute your very quick move onwards, better to look forward than back Watch the tequila with the worm in it and don't try anything that claims to be fermented from cactus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 27, 2010 Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 You will need to be careful - just incase you get busy with her again one night - make no promises!!!........... Other than that - enjoy those fit Yank students - an always use their room. Saved house deposit - use it for house. Might not be a better time to buy one anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted July 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2010 I've already got a house - this was for the second one! I'd have to plough in double what I'd put aside and I don't want to do that really. As for looking forwards, I've never been accused of not doing so! BUT, in this particular case the now travelling companion was a downgrade status for her from "girlfriend" to "travelling companion". Capishe?! Good advice on the promises Cruiser - something I need to be aware of! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollox Posted July 28, 2010 Report Share Posted July 28, 2010 And for that you'll need an expensive car... Really? Must drive it more then. Maybe slow down too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 28, 2010 Report Share Posted July 28, 2010 Park it less often? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
330dcoupe Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Hi Andrew, You know, it says in my religion that God has made someone for everyone (just not homosexuals...lol) - and I do believe that to a certain extent - but I also think that some people are just not meant to find a 'life partner' - it's almost as if they just settle into a routine for the rest of their lives. Content. I've been married for nearly 4 years now. We have our odd moments - mostly when I'm tired and she's nagging me. But we say sorry and get on with it. I think the biggest key to a relationship is how much time you give your partner to themselves. Some couples live in each others pockets and I just couldn't stand that. They have the same group of friends, they eat lunch together every day, they bath together (yuk) they sleep together (forget that one) they do everything together - and this cause friction amongst people. I'm not saying keep away from your partner for the sake of saving a relationship - no. What I am saying is, the least time you spend with your partner (not minimum!) the more you appreciate them and want to see them. I suggest you sit down and work out what you really want in life. Of course, everyone wants the whole family and kids thing - but it's just not for some people. All the best fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 I disagree, but then I know guff all about your own relationship. Marriage (or living with someone) is all about compromise. End of. We got married very young and we've had some massive ups and downs, nearly split up three times, but stuck at at. All through compromise. Interesting to see an old thread being revived. Wonder what Andrew did in the end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 From his recent posts I believe he has a new mrs that lives in Scotland! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted January 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Indeed, Booster is right. I didn't bother updating this as I didn't think anyone would really give a to55 BUT ... since you clearly love me Mook, I'll give you the potted history: Split up with girl (think that is detailed in here somewhere) Went to Mexico - had as nice a time as we could - actaully it was quite nice but still a bit of a relief to come home Started seeing a girl in Edinburgh so I have been commuting up there weekly Still very guilty about the other relationship not working out and am still in contact with her - but bluntly it hurts The future is bright and the raw sadness over the old g/f is subsiding so I can give full energy to Scotland. Plus of course I get to have a second car up there (which I've bored everyone with in another thread!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Jubbly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted January 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 ... and given the commuting I'm quite close to getting a BA "Silver" card which means I can eat loads and get plastered in the T5 lounges each week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) Marriage (or living with someone) is all about compromise. End of. I'd agree with that. MrsMe tells me what I need to compromise on and I compromise on it and we've reached her compromise. Seriously though... We fight like cat and dog. I mean we realllly argue. Constantly. Rarely will a week go past when we won't have a blazing argument about something. It's been like that since we first met. Sometimes it'll be daily. Very often it'll be a couple of times a week. But that's us. People know it's us and we've stood by and watched countless other relationships break down when the couples had virtually never had a crossed word. Both of us have very busy lives and we see little of each other. On a weekend we probably only get a couple of hours together, at best - and even then it isn't quality time because we'll have our youngest hanging off our elbows or be contemplating when our eldest will smash her MINI up again (she ran into the back of a car yesterday). We work at home on an evening, every day, every weekend. Maybe for a couple of hours a day most days. Last week she was off to London on two days, early morning, late back. Next week I'm in London and then in Glasgow, inbetween which she's in Edinburgh and London. We go out at 8.30am and get back in at about 7pm most nights, but it's not unusual if one of us isn't in until 9pm. We find life incredibly stressful and sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. Our compromise is usually understanding when the other is under stress and supporting them by compromising what we might want to do. Or by one of us looking after the youngest for a few hours and giving the other some space to relax. Seldom does it include time together. Different people run relationships in a million different ways and most people who know us well would tell you they'd run a mile if we started arguing - but that of everyone we know we'd probably be the biggest surprise if they heard we'd split up. When we are together, without the kids around, we'll be fine. If we were out shopping for a day, on our own, there'd never be a crossed word all day. But put us in a room with the TV on and something to debate - and we'll nigh on kill each other. Glad to hear your situation has been moreorless sorted out Andrew. I'd have still wanted to take advantage of the emotional ex-GF though if I was you. Edited January 28, 2011 by MrMe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 stuff Is it really worth it though? Life is short, too short to live like that, are the trappings of success really worth it? Do you really need the designer labels and flash cars/house etc? I used to be like that, then I had an epithany and jacked it all in, don't get me wrong, I still earn a good wage, but my family come before my job. I'm always at home when my kids get up, and I'm always there for dinner and to put them to bed, and spend all the time I possibly can with my mrs, who doesn't work as we couldn't bare to palm them off on babysitters or nurseries. I'm not saying what your doing is wrong (everyone is different) but when your times up, will it really have all been worth it? Oh, and I also would have taken advantage of the emotional ex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted January 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not sure I ever said I didn't take advantage of the situation in Mekkiko. I didn't though. There, I've said it. Too much of a gent for my own flaming good ... Your precis of your situation is interesting though Chris. My new gf isn't over enamoured about me working Tues-Fri in London, coming back to Edi on a Friday evening and leaving on a Tuesday morning. I have pointed out that if I was in the forces, a fireman, pilot or CEO of a large corp I'd be away just as much so I've wondered recently if actually I'm not away nearly as much as other are. It seems that indeed others spend very little time with their other halves. That said though, my relationship is in its infancy and yours isn't and has has a whole host of things attached to it now which render too much quality time together nigh on impossible from the sounds of it - kids etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Is it really worth it though?Life is short, too short to live like that, are the trappings of success really worth it? Do you really need the designer labels and flash cars/house etc? I used to be like that, then I had an epithany and jacked it all in, don't get me wrong, I still earn a good wage, but my family come before my job. I'm always at home when my kids get up, and I'm always there for dinner and to put them to bed, and spend all the time I possibly can with my mrs, who doesn't work as we couldn't bare to palm them off on babysitters or nurseries. I'm not saying what your doing is wrong (everyone is different) but when your times up, will it really have all been worth it? Oh, and I also would have taken advantage of the emotional ex You're making a huge number of presumptions, don't you think? We're always in the house when our youngest gets up and to put her to bed. They'e never been palmed off anywhere. Ever. We always eat our meals with our youngest too. I'm not saying that in an offensive manner either. Seriously, read back what you've said and then tell me you don't think you were being very presumptious. You don't have to sacrifice a happy family to do anything. I merely said we worked a huge amount and my reference to quality time was much more related to myself and my wife if you look. No mention of a lack of quality time with children was made. Yes I do sometimes wonder if everything is worth it - but who doesn't? Honestly, who doesn't? Designer labels aren't my thing by the way, anyone on here who has met me will tell you that. The wife likes her handbags and sparkly things - but that doesn't mean we're obsessed with designer labels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Yes it was presumptuous, I wasn't having a dig (believe it or not) but from what you wrote, it comes across as if your never at home, and when you are, your still working anyway. My point was, that basically there is more to life than money, and if earning a little less means you get more quality time with your family, that can only be a good thing. I have to say btw, that the persona you present on TSN, does make it look like your a label whore and a perhaps a bit materialistic, wether that's true or not, I can't know as I've never met you. Not that there is anything wrong with buying designer labels or brands etc, you definitely get what you pay for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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