Jump to content

Relationships are tough ... discuss


Andrew
 Share

Recommended Posts

Well, I made do without the female TSN input and it all ended about a week ago - hence my thread wondering about selling the holiday.

I'm still living there more for convenience than anything but will ship out once back from hols. Having had a while to think about it I've done my grieving ... she hasn't had such luxury so finds it tough which isn't nice.

Massive weight off my mind though and I'm relieved. The holiday destination has loads of watersports and a gym so I might even come back with an elusive 6 pack - although in reality given it is all inclusive I'm likely to only come back with 1!

So, thanks for the advice all, it REALLY helped me rationalise my thoughts. TSN, I salute you.

Now, what to do with the saved house deposit ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 58
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Well, I made do without the female TSN input and it all ended about a week ago - hence my thread wondering about selling the holiday.

I'm still living there more for convenience than anything but will ship out once back from hols. Having had a while to think about it I've done my grieving ... she hasn't had such luxury so finds it tough which isn't nice.

Massive weight off my mind though and I'm relieved. The holiday destination has loads of watersports and a gym so I might even come back with an elusive 6 pack - although in reality given it is all inclusive I'm likely to only come back with 1!

So, thanks for the advice all, it REALLY helped me rationalise my thoughts. TSN, I salute you.

Now, what to do with the saved house deposit ...

Good for you mate am sure it is tough but will be the best decision in the long run! Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent - not sure how that will go down with my now travelling companion. She comes back to the room to find me "entertaining" the holidaying American young students.

Could end in disaster ... but what a story!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

how that will go down with my now travelling companion. She comes back to the room to find me "entertaining" the holidaying American young students.

Depends if she's your sister, a long term friend or a new lover :)

If the latter applies then I salute your very quick move onwards, better to look forward than back +++

Watch the tequila with the worm in it and don't try anything that claims to be fermented from cactus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've already got a house - this was for the second one! I'd have to plough in double what I'd put aside and I don't want to do that really.

As for looking forwards, I've never been accused of not doing so! +++ BUT, in this particular case the now travelling companion was a downgrade status for her from "girlfriend" to "travelling companion". Capishe?! ;)

Good advice on the promises Cruiser - something I need to be aware of!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

Hi Andrew,

You know, it says in my religion that God has made someone for everyone (just not homosexuals...lol) - and I do believe that to a certain extent - but I also think that some people are just not meant to find a 'life partner' - it's almost as if they just settle into a routine for the rest of their lives. Content.

I've been married for nearly 4 years now. We have our odd moments - mostly when I'm tired and she's nagging me. But we say sorry and get on with it. I think the biggest key to a relationship is how much time you give your partner to themselves. Some couples live in each others pockets and I just couldn't stand that. They have the same group of friends, they eat lunch together every day, they bath together (yuk) they sleep together (forget that one) they do everything together - and this cause friction amongst people. I'm not saying keep away from your partner for the sake of saving a relationship - no. What I am saying is, the least time you spend with your partner (not minimum!) the more you appreciate them and want to see them.

I suggest you sit down and work out what you really want in life. Of course, everyone wants the whole family and kids thing - but it's just not for some people. All the best fella.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I disagree, but then I know guff all about your own relationship.

Marriage (or living with someone) is all about compromise. End of.

We got married very young and we've had some massive ups and downs, nearly split up three times, but stuck at at. All through compromise.

Interesting to see an old thread being revived.

Wonder what Andrew did in the end...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Indeed, Booster is right. I didn't bother updating this as I didn't think anyone would really give a to55 BUT ... since you clearly love me Mook, I'll give you the potted history:

Split up with girl (think that is detailed in here somewhere)

Went to Mexico - had as nice a time as we could - actaully it was quite nice but still a bit of a relief to come home

Started seeing a girl in Edinburgh so I have been commuting up there weekly

Still very guilty about the other relationship not working out and am still in contact with her - but bluntly it hurts

The future is bright and the raw sadness over the old g/f is subsiding so I can give full energy to Scotland. Plus of course I get to have a second car up there (which I've bored everyone with in another thread!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marriage (or living with someone) is all about compromise. End of.

I'd agree with that. MrsMe tells me what I need to compromise on and I compromise on it and we've reached her compromise.:roflmao:

Seriously though...

We fight like cat and dog. I mean we realllly argue. Constantly.

Rarely will a week go past when we won't have a blazing argument about something. It's been like that since we first met.

Sometimes it'll be daily. Very often it'll be a couple of times a week. But that's us. People know it's us and we've stood by and watched countless other relationships break down when the couples had virtually never had a crossed word.

Both of us have very busy lives and we see little of each other. On a weekend we probably only get a couple of hours together, at best - and even then it isn't quality time because we'll have our youngest hanging off our elbows or be contemplating when our eldest will smash her MINI up again (she ran into the back of a car yesterday). We work at home on an evening, every day, every weekend. Maybe for a couple of hours a day most days.

Last week she was off to London on two days, early morning, late back. Next week I'm in London and then in Glasgow, inbetween which she's in Edinburgh and London. We go out at 8.30am and get back in at about 7pm most nights, but it's not unusual if one of us isn't in until 9pm.

We find life incredibly stressful and sometimes wonder if it is all worth it.

Our compromise is usually understanding when the other is under stress and supporting them by compromising what we might want to do. Or by one of us looking after the youngest for a few hours and giving the other some space to relax. Seldom does it include time together.

Different people run relationships in a million different ways and most people who know us well would tell you they'd run a mile if we started arguing - but that of everyone we know we'd probably be the biggest surprise if they heard we'd split up. When we are together, without the kids around, we'll be fine. If we were out shopping for a day, on our own, there'd never be a crossed word all day. But put us in a room with the TV on and something to debate - and we'll nigh on kill each other.:roflmao:

Glad to hear your situation has been moreorless sorted out Andrew.+++

I'd have still wanted to take advantage of the emotional ex-GF though if I was you.:roflmao:

Edited by MrMe
Link to comment
Share on other sites

stuff

Is it really worth it though?

Life is short, too short to live like that, are the trappings of success really worth it? Do you really need the designer labels and flash cars/house etc?

I used to be like that, then I had an epithany and jacked it all in, don't get me wrong, I still earn a good wage, but my family come before my job.

I'm always at home when my kids get up, and I'm always there for dinner and to put them to bed, and spend all the time I possibly can with my mrs, who doesn't work as we couldn't bare to palm them off on babysitters or nurseries.

I'm not saying what your doing is wrong (everyone is different) but when your times up, will it really have all been worth it?

Oh, and I also would have taken advantage of the emotional ex :grin:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure I ever said I didn't take advantage of the situation in Mekkiko.

I didn't though. There, I've said it. Too much of a gent for my own flaming good ...

Your precis of your situation is interesting though Chris. My new gf isn't over enamoured about me working Tues-Fri in London, coming back to Edi on a Friday evening and leaving on a Tuesday morning. I have pointed out that if I was in the forces, a fireman, pilot or CEO of a large corp I'd be away just as much so I've wondered recently if actually I'm not away nearly as much as other are. It seems that indeed others spend very little time with their other halves. That said though, my relationship is in its infancy and yours isn't and has has a whole host of things attached to it now which render too much quality time together nigh on impossible from the sounds of it - kids etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it really worth it though?

Life is short, too short to live like that, are the trappings of success really worth it? Do you really need the designer labels and flash cars/house etc?

I used to be like that, then I had an epithany and jacked it all in, don't get me wrong, I still earn a good wage, but my family come before my job.

I'm always at home when my kids get up, and I'm always there for dinner and to put them to bed, and spend all the time I possibly can with my mrs, who doesn't work as we couldn't bare to palm them off on babysitters or nurseries.

I'm not saying what your doing is wrong (everyone is different) but when your times up, will it really have all been worth it?

Oh, and I also would have taken advantage of the emotional ex :grin:

You're making a huge number of presumptions, don't you think?

We're always in the house when our youngest gets up and to put her to bed. They'e never been palmed off anywhere. Ever. We always eat our meals with our youngest too.

I'm not saying that in an offensive manner either. Seriously, read back what you've said and then tell me you don't think you were being very presumptious.

You don't have to sacrifice a happy family to do anything. I merely said we worked a huge amount and my reference to quality time was much more related to myself and my wife if you look. No mention of a lack of quality time with children was made.

Yes I do sometimes wonder if everything is worth it - but who doesn't? Honestly, who doesn't?

Designer labels aren't my thing by the way, anyone on here who has met me will tell you that. The wife likes her handbags and sparkly things - but that doesn't mean we're obsessed with designer labels.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes it was presumptuous, I wasn't having a dig (believe it or not) but from what you wrote, it comes across as if your never at home, and when you are, your still working anyway.

My point was, that basically there is more to life than money, and if earning a little less means you get more quality time with your family, that can only be a good thing.

I have to say btw, that the persona you present on TSN, does make it look like your a label whore and a perhaps a bit materialistic, wether that's true or not, I can't know as I've never met you.

Not that there is anything wrong with buying designer labels or brands etc, you definitely get what you pay for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...