garcon magnifique Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 As is the tradition, this is all going on at a "friend's" workplace. Talk about complicated! Steven shags his wife's sister and gets her pregnant. Steven discovers this news just days after receiving a promotion to team leader. Two of his predecessors had left for 'personal reasons' and his employer decides it would be unwise to lose another important member of staff so they decide to bury Steven's problem. Not long after, Steven's colleague John discovers what's been going on and is furious about the preferential treatment received by Steven. So, disappointed by his employer, John decides to tell all his workmates about the shenanigans and backed by his best buddy Frank and Wayne - who have nothing better to do - opinion is quickly divided. Productivity suffers considerably and the general morale is so low the boss decides a company jolly and a few beers on a work night might help lift spirits. They all return to work the next day and there is a notable improvement in work ethic, but this does not last. Customers are furious and start to vent their frustrations. John decides enough is enough and, being a vindictive man, he goes to the local media and tells all that things are not as they should be. His employer quickly finds out and chastises John for his actions but in an attempt to rebuild a little unity within the company he gives a unanimous backing to all his employees. This seems to paper over the cracks, until a sudden, humiliating early termination of a major project brings everything back to the fore. Accusations and rumours fly, there are calls for the senior employees and their boss to be sacked and the board seem at a loss as to how to resolve matters. So, anybody any idea what I should say to help my friend? He's now so disillusioned with the whole affair he's thinking of resigning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_Bangle Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Funny enough I've heard this sob-story several times before .. . and I don't even work there (perhaps it should be merged with the other two threads, with the same story) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 I'd tell him to take a long holiday to Spain. He'll fit in well, cos' they speak a foreign language too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopsta Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 received earlier.... From journo I received the two rumours below today. I heard rumour about Gerrard before the world cup but I heard the it was Ex-Liverpool Legend Ronnie Whelan's 16 year old daughter Gerrard got pregnant hence why Savills are selling his house. (Brochure Attached) Two major factors contributed to the shambles on safari. Firstly – One of the Sunday Tabloids will print a story this weekend that Wayne Rooney has been a naughty boy again. Apparently he got caught with a prostitute just before the world cup (picture evidence – the lot) and the paper agreed to postpone printing until after England crashed out of the world cup. It will go live this weekend. Wayne was aware of this situation throughout the world cup… Secondly – Steven Gerrard has got his wife’s sister pregnant. Steven has a gagging order on this story which expired today but its been renewed for another two weeks. John Terry knew about this and was furious that Gerrard was allowed to continue as captain despite his indiscretion and was the main cause of his rant. The England team were divided in two and Gerrard and Terry can not stand each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 Steven Gerrard hit by 'affair' text slur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 Firstly – One of the Sunday Tabloids will print a story this weekend that Wayne Rooney has been a naughty boy again. Apparently he got caught with a prostitute just before the world cup (picture evidence – the lot) and the paper agreed to postpone printing until after England crashed out of the world cup. It will go live this weekend. Wayne was aware of this situation throughout the world cup…Oh dear - Naughty Wayne - againhttp://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/943856/Wayne-Rooney-cheats-on-Coleen-again-with-21-year-old-hooker.html Wayne Rooney cheats on pregnant wife Coleen with £1k-a-night prostitute - mirror.co.uk BBC Sport - Football - Wayne Rooney could miss Switzerland 2012 qualifier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 Yup, looks like he's well and truly fecked it up this time. Mind you, it would go some way to explaining his 'I'm not really here' performance in South Africa. If she sticks with him after this then she's either plain stupid or desperate (or I guess it could be argued completely in love but I can't quite get how that would forgive multiple unfaithfulness with prostitutes). I just don't get footballers of his profile who seem intent on taking risks that even an average man would know are likely to end in disaster. Silly, stupid, pathetic, all of those things - and incredibly saddening with such a young child as a responibility too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 Stupid man, fancy paying £1200 for 45 minutes of very average sex with a very average girl. At least Ribery showed he had some standards. I'd imagine Colleen and Kai will be on the way to her mums this morning. Maybe Abbey, Colleen, Alex and Toni Terry should put their men on the transfer market- better still employ the services of some well packed gigolos and arrange for the NoTW to expose them as cheating wives. I wonder how well the Cornflakes would go down if the men where sitting at the brunch bar reading the NoTW expose' of wife revenge events ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_Bangle Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 at least this hooker is under 50 years old! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 at least this hooker is under 50 years old! So was the last one (she was 48).... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted September 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 Colleen, Fancy getting your own back on Wayne? Call me. Lots of love, John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted September 5, 2010 Report Share Posted September 5, 2010 very good Garcon :roflmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 £1200. He's been done. He could go to somewhere else and get them for £50. Better value, just as risky and might be dirtier (disease wise definitely!) Maybe the tax man should investigate her tax return. Now Colleen has made her name in whatever she does - she can up sticks and leave him. She can't possibly stay - can she? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted September 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 Or put it another way - £1200 is about 100th of his weekly wage. I daren't imagine what I'd get for a hundredth of my weekly wage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 It's not the escort cost that caught my attention. It's the fact he appears to have bought the most expensive pack of cigarettes in the world. The article says that whilst at The Lowry he wanted a cigarette after sex, so he called on their staff and gave one of them £200 for a pack of Malboro. I hope he got the cowboy outfit to go with it for that price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 £200 for a pack of Marlboro - the staff their know their customers well! Does Fergie allow his players to smoke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted September 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 Does Fergie allow his players to smoke? I can just imagine that conversation. "Look son, shag who you want, pay for it with some filthy skank if you must, but if I catch you smoking again you're feckin sold!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 Thick, selfish and self-important tossers who have no respect for anything or anyone. I'm glad they get some pain from their wives leaving them.. let it be a wakeup call to them... you can't go through life being an arrogant tosser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DHA Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Stat from Opta data; Wayne Rooney bagged his first Premier League threesome away from home in Bolton Genuine stat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 The best I heard on Legends last night was this: Manchester United organised an 80's party for their players. As part of the themed evening all the players were told to ditch their supercars and arrive at the venue in 80's classic saloons. Ryan Giggs arrived in a modestly styled Cavalier. Darren Fletcher turned up in an original bubble shaped Sierra. Gary Neville chose a very nicely restored Rover 820 Sterling. Wayne Rooney came in a tarted up Escort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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