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Help ! MotorPunk needs you(r letters in the first issue).


theduisbergkid
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As mentioned elsewhere, MotorPunk, the free online monthly Magazine from me and 'im, should go live at the end of this month. The theme is "Automotive Adventures for the Modern Gentleman". But... the letters page is looking a bit bare as it's our first issue and we haven't published anything yet for people to write in about. So, we need your help !

If there's anything you would like to see featured, anything that you think other magazines don't cover, or you simply want to get your name in print in the launch issue of the magazine then let us know. We need your letters ! You can either email me (r i c h (at) m o t o r p u n k (dot) c o (dot) u k), or stick your reply in this thread. If we like it, we'll print it, thanks +++

Oh, we've got a Manifesto, see below;

The Motorpunk Manifesto

“manəˈfestō”, Noun, A public declaration of policy and aims.

1- No showing off at the wheel. The heel and toe technique should only be employed to impress the opposite sex on the dancefloor.

2- No loud stereos. Wirelesses need only be adequate to hear the shipping forecast over the gentle thrum of a Rover V8.

3- Promotion of gentlemanly road manners and respect for fellow road users at all times. Remember, Subaru owners are people too.

4- Tighter caravanning legislation. Compulsory CRB checks and planning permission for journeys during bank holidays.

5- No detailing. On special occasions the quick rub down of a damp beetle bonnet may be acceptable.

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Dear Editor

Where can the modern Gentleman go for a night time car meeting with his young secretary. I tried the drive at home and the wife and kids seemed upset, when ever we go to the local lovers lane 15 or so other (not Gentleman) types push there man bits against the windows, we also tried the industrial park but that was full of men called Luke wearing leather and being most un gentlemanly with each other.

Rgds

Dear Editor

This mag is rubbish, even if I havent read it beacuse its not printed yet

Rgds

Dear Editor

Shout if you want some help

Piers Morgan

Dear Editor

If you send me $10m I wont tell them about what we did the other night

Rgds From all the staff and half the punters at the Blue Oyster bar San Francisco

Deat Editor

I have a thing about cats

Rgds Yasser

Dear Editor

Is a C5 safer than a Segway on the M25

Rgds

Dear Editor- true story

Some c0ck in an Audi R8 convertible just hit high revs in 3rd on our 30 mph road. Why do people in fast cars think doing 0-75 in a side street is safe.

Rgds Chris

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Dear Motorpunk,

I'm writing with a bit of a dilemma that I'm hoping you chaps can assist with?

I recently attended a small vegetarian soirée at a neighbour's house. Normally I'm in staunch opposition to any vegetarian nonsense but my neighbour seemed a jolly nice chap, what with his beard and all. Anyway, his rotund house mate (another resplendently bearded chap) was extolling the virtues of his preferred means of motor transport - namely a powder blue convertible Saab.

Apparently it is very useful for transporting large plants from the garden centre as well as other bulky items. He also demonstrated how much room there was in the back by lowering the roof and encouraging me to climb over him into the other seat.

My neighbour (and his thoroughly nice man friend) offered to take me out in the Saab for some "topless fun" to a quiet spot up the coast that they know. I haven't confirmed with them yet as I may have misheard but I think I need to take a dog with me.

Is a Saab a suitable vehicle for a bon vivant like myself or am I getting sucked into helpless romanticism by virtue of a single vegetarian experience and would be better off with a Rover 75?

Yours, Confused of Canterbury.

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Dear Motorpunk, I drive a Subaru, but I don't own a baseball cap or any Burberry, I am therefore unsure as to what driving style I should adopt?

I am worried that if I adopt my usual gentlemanly style, I may confuse other members of the public who would (quite rightly) expect me to be driving everywhere at full throttle with the wheels spinning and 'whooshing' noises coming from under the bonnet, which could result in an accident due to the obvious confusion, what say you?

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Dear Motorpunk, in response to Confused of Canterbury's dilemma (Motorpunk letters, this issue) I would suggest the Rover 75 estate in connoisseur trim would meet his requirements, but not one with any of that vulgar MG sportiness.

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Dear Motorpunk,

I've recently retired, and no longer have to suffer the indignity of driving a Chevrolet as a company car.

Can you recommend a suitable replacement that would compliment my alcohol riddled nose?

Yours, A.Ferguson, Manchester.

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Dear Editor

My nuts are overly tight, how do you suggest I loosen them.

Rgds

Dear Editor

I asked a couple of walking police why they don't ticket cars parked on zig zags in N13 and the answer was that the Council now have control of parking, so the police now turn a blind eye to an endorsable offence.

Disgusted of Enfield (true story)

Dear Editor

I was shocked to hear that the Greek, Turkish, Alabian, Polish and various other euro language persons living in the UK buy UK DLVA personalised plates that say rude words in their mother language.

I own K11RWA which my Polish friends all know means..

Rgds

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In all seriousness Rich, could you not charge say £1 per issue or £10 per annum to subscribe? I'm sure people would pay as we don't get this standard of entertainment for free, we all pay a damn site more for motor mags even when 80% of content is rubbish too .... +++

Oh, if you need any models for car shoots, I'll round up my mates - you've got my number ..... :roflmao:

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Dear sir.

I am a large man, and as such need a large car. My funds are small though.

I want something to impress with, reliable and looks good and something that I think someone like... oooohhh a noble gentleman would be at home in.

Do you know any noble gentlemen to ask, like a Duke or an Earl? What with this being a gentleman's motor publication.

PS - I don't mind high mileage. Or even very high mileage. No motorised caravan type things please.

Regards B Hunter.

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As mentioned elsewhere, MotorPunk, the free online monthly Magazine from me and 'im, should go live at the end of this month. The theme is "Automotive Adventures for the Modern Gentleman". But... the letters page is looking a bit bare as it's our first issue and we haven't published anything yet for people to write in about. So, we need your help !

If there's anything you would like to see featured, anything that you think other magazines don't cover, or you simply want to get your name in print in the launch issue of the magazine then let us know. We need your letters ! You can either email me (r i c h (at) m o t o r p u n k (dot) c o (dot) u k), or stick your reply in this thread. If we like it, we'll print it, thanks +++

Oh, we've got a Manifesto, see below;

The Motorpunk Manifesto

“manəˈfestō”, Noun, A public declaration of policy and aims.

1- No showing off at the wheel. The heel and toe technique should only be employed to impress the opposite sex on the dancefloor.

2- No loud stereos. Wirelesses need only be adequate to hear the shipping forecast over the gentle thrum of a Rover V8.

3- Promotion of gentlemanly road manners and respect for fellow road users at all times. Remember, Subaru owners are people too.

4- Tighter caravanning legislation. Compulsory CRB checks and planning permission for journeys during bank holidays.

5- No detailing. On special occasions the quick rub down of a damp beetle bonnet may be acceptable.

6 - One should always have a spare pipe to hand. (ie, visible in the top pocket in all pics?)

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In all seriousness Rich, could you not charge say £1 per issue or £10 per annum to subscribe? I'm sure people would pay as we don't get this standard of entertainment for free, we all pay a damn site more for motor mags even when 80% of content is rubbish too .... +++

Oh, if you need any models for car shoots, I'll round up my mates - you've got my number ..... :roflmao:

Ta. It will be free for a bit, but at some stage we'll have to look at a small quantity of adverts, or make a small charge (£1 is about right) for each issue. There's a plan to produce a print version once a quarter, high quality B5 sized thing, but I want to be sure we have enough readers before going down that route. If just 10% of the monthly readers of s2b2 buy it online for £1 then we'll be more than happy, if 25% of them buy it I will have to consider packing in my day job :D

Anyway, great letters here folks, please keep them coming. +++

No thoughts/abuse regarding the manifesto ?

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Manifesto should be "This Quarters Manifesto"

I'd include some of this stuff

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.(novels, short stories)

I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

(memoir, autobiography)

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

(advice, how-to)

This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

(health, alternative healing)

The information in this book is meant to supplement, not replace, proper (name your sport) training. Like any sport involving speed, equipment, balance and environmental factors, (this sport) poses some inherent risk. The authors and publisher advise readers to take full responsibility for their safety and know their limits. Before practicing the skills described in this book, be sure that your equipment is well maintained, and do not take risks beyond your level of experience, aptitude, training, and comfort level.

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