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Cock in an Audi R8


NewNiceMrMe
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Nothing unusual about that I hear you say? However, that would be harsh on some others.

 

But...

 

M1 Southbound, around Newport Pagnell, a complete cock of a driver in a grey Audi R8 on plate 180 **L.  Turns out it is a 2007 car after a quick Google etc.

 

I was in a line of traffic at about 80 mph in the outside lane, passing slower moving traffic in the middle lane, and they were doing the same to the inside lane traffic.  So for once it was perfect!  Proper motorway driving and making progress.

 

Then Mr Cock appears.  Out of nowhere, comes flying up behind the car behind me (I could see the cocklamps peeking out as he moved from side to side as if to say "Look Look I'm here and want to be past").

 

The car behind moves in and the R8 flies up behind me now.  I'd say about 4-5 ft at best from my rear bumper.  If I had stabbed the brakes I think we'd have had something to put on YouTube (if I'd had a camera. :roflmao:).

 

I passed the cars in the middle and pulled in.  Mr R8 powered on doing exactly the same to every single car.

 

Why mate?  Why harass people like that?  Idiot.

 

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I had a Jag XF do the same to me this morning. Watched him coming in the distance at speed, right on my arse, dual carriageway drops to a 60 for maybe 1/2 mile, I pull in doing bob on 60, he powers past and continues the same bully boy tactics on every other car. :rolleyes:  We then meet again coming off the said dual carriageway and down a slip road onto another. He pulls out and powers away, only this time, the shitty little Honda doesn't disappear from view. I know I shouldn't have, but i did. He then realises that his big fast Jag, isn't that fast and pulls in. Instead of passing like a cock however, i too pull in behind, at a nice safe distance and continue my journey.  :)

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I see one every single day, a white one, on the same stretch of road, and every single day he drives like a f*cking tit, having said that, the bloke I see on a different stretch of the same road every single day in a Datsun GT-R drives like an even bigger tit.

 

But having said that, the bloke I see every single Wednesday who drives one of those massive tipper trucks (probably the biggest you can get on UK roads, almost the size of an artic) again, on the same road, drives like the biggest c*nt you've ever seen, he's tried to get me to pull over before and 'have it out' because I was doing 60 mph, and he wanted to go faster, bearing in mind the speed limit for him is 50mph.

 

Quite how he hasn't killed anyone yet is anyone's guess, when he's behind me, he's about 3 inches from my bumper, close enough to set my parking sensors off if I manually turn them on, all I can see out the back window is his Mercedes badge, and it fills it.

 

I'm so tempted to brake test him, and it'd 100% end up with my car being written off, but I have other peoples children on board, maybe when it's time to replace it I'll take a drive during half term or something...

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Lol at Tipex and his no fear, I don't care if you weigh 20 tonnes and have pikey blood belligerence.

I'd wager it weighs more than 20 tonnes, anyway, it's all macho bravado, I'd never have the bollox to actually do it!

 

Goes off to Google weight of tipper trucks....

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It is so hard to make progress in 'rush hour' traffic.  It is a waste of time UNLESS, you know the road and the way it flows on different days in different seasons and different terms!!!

Which most drivers don't realise or register.

 

Makes for a good laugh at these cocks during the week! :roflmao:

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Lol at Tipex and his no fear, I don't care if you weigh 20 tonnes and have pikey blood belligerence.

 

 

I'd wager it weighs more than 20 tonnes, anyway, it's all macho bravado, I'd never have the bollox to actually do it!

 

Goes off to Google weight of tipper trucks....

 

I completely misread those and thought Chris' comments were referring to you!!

Your lack of bristling with indignation was my sign that maybe I read it wrong :P

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I could but it'd be pointless, unless they catch him in the act of doing something they can't really do anything.

And I doubt they have the resources to send someone out to watch him, a speed camera can't tell the difference between a car and a 40 tonne truck either, so he can sail through at 60mph.

I suspect it'd have more impact if I rang the owner of the company he works for, but then there is always the chance that he's probably a knuckle dragging neanderthal too.

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I've just had a thought.

 

Are people more likely to drive like cocks in cars that have a gear lever shaped like a cock.

 

Yes I realise more or less all gear levers are vaguely cock shaped, but some are definitely more phallic than others.

 

 

 

Don't worry, it's almost time to stop thinking and start drinking... :P

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Another one....

 

M42 yesterday, headed towards Coventry....

 

A 14 plate blue Audi RS4 followed by a black Audi RS5 with a registration that had been chavved to look like SASHA.

 

Both absolutely blitzing along in the outside lane and again going right up the arse of other cars until they moved out of the way.  I'd guess at 95 mph+ very easily.

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I'm not condoning this behaviour, and do agree that it's dangerous and annoying.

But, (you knew that was coming)...

I can see how people get into the habit of doing this thanks to the huge number of lane hoggers we have. People who just do not think that maybe, once in a while, they ought to take a look to their left and see if there's room to move over. Yesterday, I found several people in lane 3 with nothing to their left in lanes 1 or 2. Their justification was probably the car about a mile ahead, in lane 2, with nothing to its left in lane 1, that they were palpably not catching up with :ffs:

I'm also not saying that MrMe et al are/were lane hogging. But my suspicion is that these idiots have learnt this as the only way to get past lane hoggers and are themselves too stupid to see when it's not appropriate.

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At the point the RS's overtook me....I was in the middle lane.

 

The R8 was altogether different, he was a total prick on the basis that it was busy, all lanes were full and the outside lane was (all cars) overtaking middle lane cars.

 

However, yes I know exactly what you mean.

 

For example, I can think of at least 3-4 occasions last night alone when I was overtaking inside lane traffic at about 80 mph (so I was in the middle lane).  Nothing in the outside lane.

 

I'd then pull in to the inside lane.

 

Then, about 1/4 or 1/2 mile ahead....you'd meet a car in the middle lane!  Nothing on the inside.  Nothing on the outside.  Nothing for a good distance ahead.  Just fixed to the middle lane.

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Imagine the frustration when you meet one like that, doing 50, when you're towing.  

 

Do I pass on the left, and break the law? (inside pass)

 

Do I go into the outside lane, and break the law? (outside lane use is not permitted if you're towing & the road has 3 or more lanes)

 

Do I go right up behind him, and break the law? (tailgating)

 

 

Or do I sit behind him and spend forever there while he carries on, not looking in his mirrors or thinking in any way, shape or form?

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Test your high beams?

 

Possibly....  :secret:

 

Also breaking the law, I suspect...

 

And it seriously and properly pi55ed off a driver on the M25 who eventually cleared out of lane 3 (of 4, lanes 1, 2 & 4 all empty) into lane 2 but was obviously thinking some very nasty things about the unknown 4x4 driver towing a race car and gesticulated to that effect as the unknown 4x4 driver went past.  He was probably wondering why the cocky twat towing the race car hadn't just used one of the three other available lanes.  Especially as the 4x4 moved straight back over to lane 1 after completing the pass...

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I though passing on the inside is OK providing you haven't made an intentional manouver to undertake him?

If he is doing 50 in the middle lane and you're doing 60 in the inside lane,and the outside lane is full of cars having to overtake I'd stay where I was at the speed I was doing and pass him.

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He'd rant and rave and shake his fist at you for undertaking him. He'd not look in his mirrors, at the mile long line of cars behind him. He'd stay in that middle lane for 58 miles, all the way to his destination. He'd then tell everyone that the standard of driving by all other motorists is appaling.

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