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BMW Tech Queries

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How the even **** what now?

I had a feeling you might say that.

I only know about the optional 'Icon' lights cos I've spent far too much time on the configurator website.

I really need to spend more time watching porn instead. :uhoh:

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OK.  I'll ask the obvious one*. 

 

How do you force this to happen in your wife's BMW so that you get a text before she gets home with enough warning to let the mistress get dressed and bugger off?  :roflmao::secret:

 

 

*because I'm not the one that needs it, obvs :P

 

Easy.  Create an IFTTT account.  Get her phone for 5 minutes.  Done. +++:grin:

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Get her phone for 5 minutes.

 

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

 

Yeah.  OK....

 

Hypohetically, obviously :secret::)

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OK. I'll ask the obvious one*.

How do you force this to happen in your wife's BMW so that you get a text before she gets home with enough warning to let the mistress get dressed and bugger off? :roflmao::secret:

*because I'm not the one that needs it, obvs :P

Err, someone I know just uses the find friends app on their iPhone, they can have a message either when their Mrs leaves wherever she is, or when she gets to a certain location, such as near enough to home for them to put their c*ck away and shut down the laptop without being caught with their pants around their ankles, so to speak*.

*or literally.

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He sounds like a bit of a w4nker.

Edited by NewNiceMrMe
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This, I hate this auto stop around town, it is so annoyingly irritating intrusive, I actually drive my old car now so I don't have to put up with this tosh.

 

Auto-Stop Thing

For the love of god, can I turn this off permanently? Kill it with fire?

 

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Mac, out of vague and largely selfish interest has yours got the 'BMW Icon' adaptive LEDs or the standard LEDs with high beam assist?

 

Yes, it has lights.  :roflmao:

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This, I hate this auto stop around town, it is so annoyingly irritating intrusive, I actually drive my old car now so I don't have to put up with this tosh.

 

 

Going into a parking space that's tight, you need to inch forward, but every time you stop the engine switches off, then comes back on and you move forward with a jerk. WTF!!!! It's epically sh*t

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It used to irritate me with Mrs P's X1, but a useful tip from the sales chap was that a very light pressure (only) on the brake pedal, just enough to counteract the creep from the autobox, tells the start/stop to STFU.  Press harder and it assumes you're staying there for a while and kills the engine.  Relax back to a light pressure and it restarts even if you haven't moved or touched the throttle yet.  With that in mind, it's marginally less irritating.

 

Something for me to look forward to on the Cayenne, though :unsure:

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I used the auto start/stop for a whole weekend and quickly got used to it by trying out different approaches.

Mind you, that was on a loaner 520d, which was slow as feck and bored me to tears.

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As above I've not got it on mine but I did on the courtesy cars. 

 

Being lighter on the brakes and it doesn't kick in, 

Move the wheel and again the engine will kick in

Arrive at a junction with the wheel turned and it won't kick in

Its really cold or warm it won't kick in

 

I can see in busy traffic in London flying to a stop all the time its a pain but for me I hardly even noticed it, only once did I find it kicked in when I didn't want it too. +++

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Buy a manual

Edited by eldavo69

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Won't help, manuals have stop start too.

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Going into a parking space that's tight, you need to inch forward, but every time you stop the engine switches off, then comes back on and you move forward with a jerk. WTF!!!! It's epically sh*t

 

Doesn't happen in mine.  Ever.  I didn't like it for a long time but you've managed to experience something I never did!

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Won't help, manuals have stop start too.

But if you don't take your foot off the clutch it won't turn off

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I honestly don't think the issues with stop/start technology are anything like they're being made out to be, but I do understand why it is taking some a lot of getting used to.

 

I hated it.

 

It took me a long time to get to grips with how to keep control of it but you do get there eventually and I'd never go back to switching it off now.  It catches me out on the rare occasion but it is amazing how quickly the engine fires back up - almost instantly once you've got to grips with it.

 

Don't underestimate the impact it has on fuel either.  In my case I watched 3 mpg average saving - and it came about quickly.  I know it isn't earth shattering stuff and nobody is going to be booking 2 weeks in the Seychelles off the back of it, but if you do 15,000 miles per annum and get 40 mpg with it switched off and 43 mpg with it switched on - that's 37p a day (£135 per annum) you've not thrown away.

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£135 per annum.

Anyone know how much the stop/start function would cost if it was an option?

Just wondering :coffee:

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We've had Stop/Start on our manual A4 since 2009. It only kicks in when in neutral with the clutch out so it's easy to defeat it .... or you press the button to turn it off. It only wakes up with the pressing of the clutch or if it senses the temp of the car climb and needs a/c etc. Similarly it won't turn off the engine if it senses you need it on for cooling, to charge the battery etc. If I can see we'll be moving in a few secs I keep the clutch in. I've heard that the restarting of it can cost about 15-20 secs of idling fuel so stops of less than that can cost against you.

 

All very simple and actually works well.

 

 

However .... since we've only done 30k miles in it in 6.5 years the savings it's made on fuel are minimal but it did help push it down one emissions/tax group.

Edited by Scotty

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£135 per annum.

Anyone know how much the stop/start function would cost if it was an option?

Just wondering :coffee:

 

Indeed but the reason it was introduced was for the green folk.  Emissions.

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Indeed but the reason it was introduced was for the green folk.  Emissions.

 

Yep, but that means it can't be justified on the basis of the cost of the fuel saved, only on the basis of the smug attitude you're entitled to adopt while your car sits silently at the traffic light that you* drove up to too quickly and in the wrong gear and will drive away from a little too briskly because you haven't a clue about how to drive a car efficiently but expect the engineers to do all your thinking for you.  The smug self-satisfaction that arises from not knowing that if you'd coasted to the lights instead of powering there, you wouldn't have had to stop and could have picked up gently as the lights changed thereby using even less fuel, but in a way not measured by the official tests and therefore not recognised by anyone...

 

Sorry, rant over... :lol:

 

*not you personally, obvs... :unsure:

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I fixed the light thing - there's an old fashioned thing called a 'switch' you can use to turn it off.

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I fixed the light thing - there's an old fashioned thing called a 'switch' you can use to turn it off.

Lol, on the Galaxy, the high beam assist (or whatever it's called) only works if the headlight switch is in the 'auto' position, so moving the switch back to 'headlights on' disables auto main beam, or you can go into the menu on the instrument cluster and adjust the sensitivity or switch it off.

I'll most likely end up disabling it in the menu so I can leave the lights on auto.

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