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Great car cock ups


Sniff Petrol
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The EC ruling which mandates the fitment of ABS to greater than 90% of a company's car products (by volume), thereby ensuring that all mainstream manufacturers now plump for over-servoed power brakes with electronic save-your-ass, rather than designing braking systems with genuine pedal feel and progressive action. And that the new generation of reps will drive even harder than before, believing that ABS is a magical cure-all for their lunacy.

BMW's Board of Direktors (sic) giving their approval for the 2001MY 7-Series, thereby giving Chris Bangle unjustified job security. And indeed any subsequent BMW Board decision to date, particularly the decision to productionise the oops-need-to-turn-down-the-spraybooth-ovens-lads-it's-happening-again Z4.

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[puts on flame retardant underclothes] The metro wasn't a proper cock-up. It was one of the v. few cars that Austin-Rover actually managed to sell and make a profit on.

How about the Ford Fusion. Who was the berk in marketing who deiced that a jacked-up Fiesta would be a brilliant idea? laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

And then there was the Triumph Stag. A lovley looking car, saddled with two Dolomite engines welded together when Triumph could have easily borrowed the Buick V8 from Rover, creating a brilliant car.

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Rover made profits on Metro's but as a used car dealer i made a loss on each one! frown.gif

I couldn't shift them even the 100 series, most went to auction! Sorry Rhyds but speaking as i find.

As for the stag, blame "in fighting" between Rover and Triumph under what was the largest car group BL.

Is a shame though with the Rover V8 who knows how it might have been.......

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How about any Lancia form the 70s or 80s. Lancia engineers managed to combine a terrifying propensity to rot with wacky design features - what's not to like?

Well try the Lancia Gamma. I owned one once. It was shite. Not as shite as some however. Lancia engineers ingeniously took the power steering pump drive off one of the cam drives on the flat-four engine. Cold starting with full lock on was best avoided, unless you wanted to destroy one half of the engine as the cam belt jumped and the pistons smashed the valves to pieces - lovely...

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How did I know, when I set eyes upon this topic, that Lancia was going to make an appearance sooner or later?

Major apologies to Sniff for taking this off-topic (I'll get in back on track before the end of the post, promise), but ok, so I am what it says on the tin. So sue me. I own an '81 Beta HPE as a daily driver and, believe it or not, it has a) no rust and b) is very reliable. And the rust thing? Ever wondered why Golf Mk2s weigh so much? They have a huge amount of wax in the sills because the Golf Mk1s rusted like you wouldn't believe. And let's not forget the dissolving rear subframes beneath BMC 1100s. Lancia's mistake was to buy back all the affected cars. If they'd ignored it, in time it would have been swept under the carpet and everyone would have forgotten. And they're not particularly unreliable. I've owned my (completely standard) example for over two years now and in that time it left me stranded just once, and that was within the first two weeks of ownership. (Gunk in the electrics, in case anyone was wondering.) Ok, that's not quite true, I did run out of petrol as a result of the gauge showing there was still juice in there when there patently wasn't but that was more my stupidity/bravery/cheapness coming to the fore.

Nothing particularly 'wacky' about the Beta IMHO. The engine is a gem, handling great (for a front-driver) and the styling still very attractive. And yes, it was a pretty dumb idea to drive the Gamma's power steering pump off one of the cams. Even so, I can think of worse offences in the pantheon of automotive cock-ups. (Nice link back to the original topic, huh?)

Like, for example, the guy who suggested, "Why don't we make the Stilo like a Golf?" Basic law of carmaking, waste of time trying to tackle the Golf on its own terms...

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My Mum had a 1600 Beta HPE ‘estate’ (or whatever it was called) when I was born. Full on furry velour trim, amber-effect gearknob (I think it had a FIVE speed box?) and lots of orange inside if I recall correctly. I don’t know why, but a while later she stopped using it. So it just sat outside by the side of the house decaying away. Then one day we noticed it had evaporated. They just don’t build ‘em like they used to!

It had lots of “Italian character” and made a nice sound though

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The attempts by new car companies to take the world by storm provide rich pickings. I'm not talking about the long term, start sensibly, softly softly approach of Kia and Daewoo but the "we'll take on Mercedes" madness of the low volume producer. I'm sure other countries have their own over optimistic investment black holes but Britain seems very good at it.

Some good un's that spring to mind:

Argyll - A rover V8 engined, st. st. spaceframed monstrosity built in the middle of nowhere. Few people have ever seen one. The unlucky ones have.

Lea Francis Ace of Spades - If at first you don't succeed try again with something so immeasurably cack that people think that Candid Camera has come to the motorshow. Classic styling and metro headlamps. Quite possibly the worst car ever built. I believe they are trying again.

Owen Sedanca – Start with an XJ6 and finish with some Wolfrace mag slots and a financial crisis.

Panther Solo – Could have been so, so good (and in many respects was) but they forgot that Panther were a completely poo company that couldn’t do anything right.

AC Ace - S class money for Dutton build quality and all the style of a body kitted MX-5.

Strathcarron – Crying shame.

Jensen S-V8 – The Interceptor was lovely but that was then and this is now. Let the dead rest in peace.

Invicta S1– Just to show we can still take a once respected name and turn it into a joke.

Delfino Feroce – And if we haven’t got a respected name we’ll make one up and debase it for the sheer hell of it.

Other bad ideas – Every Golf after the Mk1, attempting to sell the Scorpio, Porsche displaying typical German arrogance and refusing to accept they were wrong about where the engine should be and wasting the next thirty years trying to prove they were right when they could have been building proper cars (even the French admitted their mistake eventually), putting David Coulthard in front of a TV camera, BL not developing the (proper) Mini, BMW thinking they knew what the feck a Mini was supposed to be, Lotus trying to build cars, Seat existing and VW building the Phaeton.

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Let's not forget all the other 'classic' Panthers, especially the almost unbelievably tasteless de Ville.

And of course my personal thinking is that while not exactly a cock-up in all senses of the word (sales, for example), every BMW after the terrific E30 3-Series went out of production in 1991 has been a step backwards on the model it replaced - the 8-Series started the rot.

We can't fail to include any number of BL horrors, I'll include the Stag and P76 to start the list off.

But frankly, all of these pale in comparison with the grandaddy of them all, the Stutz Blackhawk. Designed (styled would be too generous a term) by Virgil Exner, this luxury car (based around Pontiac Grand Prix underpinnings) was a truly remarkable feat in that it managed to combine malproportion, vulgarity and simple tastelessness in equal, and equally large, quantities.

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Betaphile,

You can only speak as you find. Admittedly, the Beta was probably a better car than the Gamma, though that in itself isn't saying that much...perhaps the Lancia guys were just saving up the craziness for the Thema 8.32?

Q: Why aren't there any 70s and 80s Lancias on the roads?

A: Fundamental engineering defects aside, their propensity to rot was fearsome. I could watch the paint blistering getting larger on my Gamma on a day to day basis. Really, it was that bad. Lucky for me that the car was a sickly rust colour in the first place. Maybe your Beta came with the rare and desirable "anti-corrosion" option?

Fair point about the MK2 Golf though. I had a Syncro that would have given the Gamma a run for its money in a race to see which would disintegrate first when exposed to mildly inclement weather conditions...

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[ QUOTE ]

The attempts by new car companies to take the world by storm provide rich pickings. I'm not talking about the long term, start sensibly, softly softly approach of Kia and Daewoo but the "we'll take on Mercedes" madness of the low volume producer. I'm sure other countries have their own over optimistic investment black holes but Britain seems very good at it.

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The MG SV?

Nearly £20,000 more than the faster 911 Carrera S!!! EEK2.GIFEEK2.GIFEEK2.GIF

What the hell were they thinking?

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What about SAAB taking a perfectly good RWD Triumph engine, try to fit it into the FWD Gudmud turtle sportifs2.gif, it no-workee, then try by flipping it around 180 degrees wherein it fits smashfreakB.gif....and they chase transmission 'problems' for the next 25 years? slap.gif --> ECLIPSe.gif <BANG!>

(but it does make a half hour clutch job possible wink.gif )

(edit for content)

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I can't believe noone has mentioned one of the biggest cock ups of the early 90's

The Ford Escort Mk4

Words cannot describe just how horrendous this car was for its time. My girlfriends mum owned a Mk3 Orion which she sold for a new Mk4 Escort when they had just come out. It took her all of 2 weeks to realise just how awful it was and she ended up buying the Orion back!

Chris

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