mulkbear Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 * When i get car i all ways have to scratch my balls * When over-take i always have look at who is driving the other car * I talk to my car when i am driving by myself * I can not talk on a hands free kit when i am driving. Do i need help ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 Yes, you do. Referring to point number 1, when you say "When i get car" does that mean when you buy a car you stand there scratching your balls at the salesman? Also, the fact that you can talk to your car, but not to a handsfree kit which is essentially the same thing, is worrying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woppum Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 I sometimes look at people when I overtake them, but in regards to the rest you seem just barmy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felixthecat1 Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 Why the hell would you want to be normal? There's plenty of normal around already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 I tried some cheese once? Does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdog Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 [ QUOTE ] I tried some cheese once? Does that count? [/ QUOTE ] You want to be careful with that. Could be the thin end of the wedge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runflat Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 You sound fairly normal to me. I always scratch my balls. It's healthy and manly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulkbear Posted June 25, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 I think i may need help because i love to make silly faces at the police when they are driving towards me and i will not get out of bed if the time is between dashs (5 10 15 etc etc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted June 25, 2005 Report Share Posted June 25, 2005 1. I scratch my balls before starting the old girl up (my car that is, not my mother) to make sure I'm comfortable 2. I always look who's overtaking me too - to check if its a sexy lady. Oh and on motorways, they got uniformed coppers in unmarked cars who can pull you over if you speed, so I look for them on motorways. 3. I don't often talk to my car on my own, but it has been done in the past. 4. Dunno what your hands free problem is, I don't have one there really... 5. I always stare at the police while they're approaching, just to make sure they're not waving me to pull over etc 6. I used to make a habit of not getting out of bed unless it was on /quater past /half past / quater to the hour. But now I don't do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Beez - it's funny how your posts become more legible the further away from 11pm (and hence the more sober) you become! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustynuts Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] I always stare at the police while they're approaching, just to make sure they're not waving me to pull over etc [/ QUOTE ] You'd do far better keeping your eyes on the road and it's inherent dangers than staring down a policeman. Best not to give them any reason to have to pull you over, and not watching the road, running down a pedestrian, rear ending the car in front etc. will certainly give them something to want to talk to you about. It's part of their job to pull people over if they have to, and they have ways of letting you know when they need you to stop. Don't be paranoid about driving past a copper, just don't do anything to make 'em need to talk to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omi Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] * When i get car i all ways have to scratch my balls * When over-take i always have look at who is driving the other car * I talk to my car when i am driving by myself * I can not talk on a hands free kit when i am driving. Do i need help ? [/ QUOTE ] Yes, you do... I'm sure there'll be a local school offering English sessions for adult learners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Beez - it's funny how your posts become more legible the further away from 11pm (and hence the more sober) you become! [/ QUOTE ] I'm glad nature amuses you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Has anyone else noticed that when you look at someone as you overtake them (particularly on the motorway) most people seem to know and they usually look back and catch you looking at them? That has embarrased me checking out ladies more than once! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyPence Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 if i get caught by a lady looking at them i feel bad and like i wanna run away right there and then out of sight but in all seriousness they probably enjoy it. maybe i should get caught more often and a few telephone numbers might come my way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Just stick your number on your left side windows... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Might try that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Be prepared for loads of twats phoning you for no reason though!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 You should print out some signs and have them on your passenger seat. Depending on who catches you looking you can have a range of signs such as; "What are YOU looking at, weirdo?" "Here's my number - 0123337447" (obviously to be replaced by your real number otherwise it wouldn't work to well) "Sorry, you looked nice from the side, but from the front angle - yuck - can you stop reading my sign now please and face forward again?" etc...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 I'd love to read that last one. I'd definately die while doing it. Although it'd be even funnier if the person holding it pointed at the car infront of me in a 'you're gonna hit that if you're not careful' way... ...and THEN I died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyPence Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 forget the pieces of paper boys, what we need is this But you'll need a passengar at all times to type in the messages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felixthecat1 Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 [ QUOTE ] forget the pieces of paper boys, what we need is this But you'll need a passengar at all times to type in the messages [/ QUOTE ] Nah, only one phrase needed. Short and sweet.. Feck off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Doe Posted June 29, 2005 Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 [ QUOTE ] * When i get car i all ways have to scratch my balls * When over-take i always have look at who is driving the other car * I talk to my car when i am driving by myself * I can not talk on a hands free kit when i am driving. Do i need help ? [/ QUOTE ] Nope, you are obviously beyond it!!!! A cup of bromide tea for Mr Mulkbear, Matron please..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulkbear Posted June 29, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 Watching the "fear and loathing in las vegas" as a teenager has brain washed me? Or i could have been smelling Petrol as a child? or the little Voices telling me to do things? "one flew over the cookos nest" for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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