Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 The "ultimate performance 4x4" on Top Gear last night pretty much summed up the genre for me. Porsche Cayenne Turbo S. Over 500hp, monsterously quick, absolutely crap off road. Why? Because no one makes offroad tyres big enough for the 20 inch rims, and you can't fit 19 inch rims because they won't fit over the brakes they need to fit to try and stop such a heavy car with so much performance. So, if the whole "offroad" thing is utterly pointless, why not just buy a proper car? Pointless vehicle. Still, no doubt the Americans lap them up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 But by the same token, isn't a performance car pointless? He says, backing quietly away and closing the door... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Why? At least a performance car will do what it was intended for, even if there are limited opportunities to exploit that. Designing a vehicle for offroading, and then building a derivative that won't actually accept tyres suitable, or even the ability to fit wheels that will accept the tyres, is a little like building a very fast boat that won't actually float. Yes it's really really powerful, just don't go getting it wet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 The thing is, much as we hate it (and I do), there is now a whole new genre of 4x4 vehicle that isn't designed to go offroad. It's a pure fashion thing which - I hope - will eventually pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mccombie_5 Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 My mother summed it up last night when Top Gear was on, she saw it and said "I'd rather have a normal Range Rover and drive it accross fields" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botang Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I think your looking at it the wrong way Ari, realisticly the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S was never designed to do that test last night, I personally thought it was a shame that they tested it like that anyway as I would have much rather seen it around the track. Its a big 4 seater Porsche with a lot of power and high driving posion, the only thing that makes it 4x4 is it has 4 wheel drive in the same way as my A8 has. Im a big Cayenne fan as as Hammond says it pushes the boundries of physics, no car that big and heavy should be able to go that fast and still go around corners, but yet it does, the lap times around Bedford Autodrome have proven that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossG Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Bored at work today Ari Looking to stoke up an old argument yet again I can't wait to take delivery of my Cayanne TurboS - mainly because it is just so much easier to bully people in their short ass cars out of my way when I'm in my 2 tonne aggressive SUV. Of course, I don't need to off road, but I want to still tow a horse box, oh and my friends and their skis to the resort with the security of 4wd drive, and the space to relax and be comfortable! Oh, and I only have one parking space, but love my quick cars - so this is the one car that offers everything to me, and covers off every use I could ever need. Long live high performance SUVs - its my life, and my choice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I'm not actually arguing against Porsche making a 4x4 offroad vehicle here, I'm suggesting that it's stupid to build one in such a way that it won't actually fulfil it's purpose, which is to go offroad. If Porsche want to build a big four seat "touring" performance car instead, why compromise it by building it on stilts when the only benefit to that extended ground clearance is off road ability, but then make it so you can't put offroad tyres on? Logically it makes no sense. But then I guess footballers wives don't really look at these things logically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossG Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 [ QUOTE ] I'm suggesting that it's stupid to build one in such a way that it won't actually fulfil it's purpose, which is to go offroad. [/ QUOTE ] I must admit that I laughed out loud when I heard this last night and though to myself 'Ari's going to have a field day with this one' You have a very good point sir... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameo Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 A picture of Ari taken earlier today: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Now put that on rollerskates and you've got a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S offroad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameo Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 You would if you had 521 of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRobin Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I absolutely love the Cayenne Turbo S. Everytime I see one I get very excited . If my garage was bigger and I had more money to burn I would deffo get one without any doubt whatsoever. As Ross says, it has the perfect combination of performance, comfort, and space. It's not meant to be an off-roader anyway just because it's big with 4WD. I don't care two fecks who else drives one (footballer's wives, minor celebs etc) nor what image they have....They are produced by Porsche. I have yet to see one driven slowly!! Awesome power! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Shame they are so butt-ugly though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malagus Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 not a huge fan of peromance SUVs, and if I had to pick oe, I'd have the rangey sport as its the best compromise, But you have gotaa admire the engineering to build a car the size of a small town that laps the 'ring in roungly the same time as a BMW M3. Seeing the medical car at BTCC races (usually a cayenne turbo) race round the track as quick as they do is impressive, whatever you think about the utility or style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 [ QUOTE ] It's not meant to be an off-roader anyway just because it's big with 4WD. [/ QUOTE ] So why's it so high up with so much ground clearance then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameo Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 So you can maintain your "progress" over those annoying speed humps outside schools Personally I quite like performance SUV; they're the ultimate evolution of the hot hatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 No they're not! They're a type of vehicle fundamentally unsuited to going fast that have been dicked around with to make them do it! The hot hatch starts with a useful practical car for many people and evolves the performance aspect to give another dimension on top of its already useful charactoristics. The "hot 4x4" starts as a sort of farm vehicle with benefits that have absolutely no relevence to 90% of users (high ground clearance, locking diffs, all that crap) and forces it to do something it that the genre was patently never designed for or even suitable for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malagus Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Going by that estimation, if EVERYTHING should be suited for a purpose, then a performance cabriolet is all wrong too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameo Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 [ QUOTE ] The "hot 4x4" starts as a sort of farm vehicle with benefits that have absolutely no relevence to 90% of users (high ground clearance, locking diffs, all that crap) and forces it to do something it that the genre was patently never designed for or even suitable for. [/ QUOTE ] Do you honestly think Porsche started the Cayenne out as a farm vehicle Anyway you could argue that thats how Lamborghini started- the took a farm vehicle, dicked about and eventually came up with the Miura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 That's ok - Ari's isn't a 'performance' cabriolet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Why? Cabriolet suits the purpose for those who want a cabriolet, and a faster one adds a performance advantage. The two elements don't "fight" and the cabrio element is a genuinely useful one for 90% of cab buyers, even if they only drop the roof occasionally. A performance 4x4 starts off with a type of vehicle that hardly any buyer exploits and adds an element that goes completely against its original purpose. What does a good 4x4 need? Tall suspension, good ground clearance, chunky tyres, soft suspension. What does a performance car need? Low suspension, low ground clearance, grippy low profile tyres, stiff suspension. Do you see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 And yes I am bored at work today. Finishing soon and will lose all interest in this argument and go clean the boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted May 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 [ QUOTE ] That's ok - Ari's isn't a 'performance' cabriolet. [/ QUOTE ] Thats true too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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