Ari Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 I quite like All the toilets have been stolen from the local police station. Police say they currently have nothing to go on. Well I did say childish jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuntimeFrankie Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 My kids favourite "Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree" "'cos he was dead" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What's yellow and dangerous? Shark infested custard. Doctor, I've got a wart on my bum that looks like a strawberry! I've got some cream for that. What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun? Sir. What's got four legs and an arm? A rottweiler... What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of babies? You can't unload sand with a pitchfork. What goes "Ga ga goo, whzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...." ? A baby in a blender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NunchukHamster Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What's green and goes up and down? A gooseberry in a lift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frazervisser Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 Whats green and goes red at the touch of a button? A frog in a blender! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOSE Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 I used to think I was the ultimate man in bed until I found out that every woman I have ever shagged was an asthmatic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frazervisser Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 Whats long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts and stuck in tarts? Rubarb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 A jelly baby goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I need an AIDS test." Doctor says, "Don't be ridiculous, you're a jelly baby!" "I know," says the jelly baby, "but I've been shagging all sorts." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipandpin Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 whats green and smells of bacon? Kermit the frogs willy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulkbear Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 Man - Can I smell your fanny ? Woman - 'No' of course not ! Man - Must be my breath then -------------------------------------- Whats has two legs and bleeds ?, Half a dog -------------------------------------- Why is the sea wet ?, because the sea-wee'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malagus Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 Where do you find half a dog? Exactly where you left it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? Still no idea. What's green, got six legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you? A snooker table. What's big square and white, and likes pork? Kermit the Fridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesB Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What's brown and sticky? A stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazdot Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 [ QUOTE ] What's brown and sticky? A stick [/ QUOTE ] That has got to be one of the best jokes ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo-S3 Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What do you do if you come across an elephant? Wipe it off and say sorry! Why do elepahants have big ears? Because noddy wouldnt pay the ransom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 What do you do if you see a herd of elephants coming over the hill? Swim for your life! Judge: Mickey, I don't think having big teeth is reasonable grounds for divorce. Mickey: I didn't say Minnie had big teeth. I said she was f*cking Goofy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewcam Posted July 1, 2006 Report Share Posted July 1, 2006 Whats brown and runs around the garden ? A fence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loafer27 Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 why are pirates called pirates ? cos they Arrrrrr ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponge Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 What's black & white, and red all over? Do I really need to write the answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulkbear Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 [ QUOTE ] What's black & white, and red all over? Do I really need to write the answer? [/ QUOTE ] A Geordie on holiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza_g Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 Man walks into a bar.............ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza_g Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 Two monkeys in the bath, one says to the other ooh ooh ahh ahh ohh ahhh, the other says well put some more cold in then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulkbear Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 What is 6" long, pink and women love ? £50 note Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woppum Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 [ QUOTE ] My kids favourite "Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree" "'cos he was dead" I remember that one. [/ QUOTE ] Why did the monkey fall off the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the man fall off the bicycle? Because the Monkey fell on top of him. Why did the elephant fall off the tree? Because he was tied to the monkeys tail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teacake Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 Knock knock. Who's there? Idunnop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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