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A nation of illiterate car sellers ?


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I'm (still) looking for a car to use for work, not in a great hurry, but I am amazed at some of the gibberish people write in their ads. Here is an EBay gem I found today :

"this car is not for the faint harted because it realy can go and its not to bad on fuel eather."

I also love these over-used phrases (usually used to decribe a sh*theap) :

"Mint for year" - It's either mint, or it is not, pillock.

"Ice cold AirCon" - Yes, thats what you would expect, isn't it.

"Stunning" - Sorry, very rarely is a car stunning, Liz Hurley b0ll0ck naked is (probably) stunning, but 99% of cars are not.

"Sale due to ban" - Ie the car has been caned by a criminal, so thats pretty appealing to a prospective buyer then.

"mileage reflects price" - yes, you read that right. They must have said 'it's up for 10k, so we need to put a few miles on the clock, go and drive it round the M25 for a few days'. Durrr.

"Only selling due to new car" - Why did they buy a new car ? Beacuse the old one is knackered ?

"No dreamers" - thats me stuffed then, I normally dream of me and Ulrika living wild on an island somewhere.

"Not the usual rubbish" - Oh really ? Thats a relief then.

"Everyone should own a XXXX once in their life" - Says who ? A XXXX is no good to my housebound granny now is it ?

"These cars easily handle high milages" - Usually describing some 200k+ sh*tter with bits hanging off.

"Previously supplied by ourselves recently" - to someone who was sick of it breaking down, and demanded the garage take the car back.

"Heavily modded" - Ie, heavily ruined.

Where can you find nice, original, historied cars sold by people who can speak plain English ?


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Here's another belter :

"This vehicle it run perfect , and has no mechanical fault , comes with all the options lether seat , elictic mirror and windows / sunroof / p/ stearing / c/ locking / and / cd player / also comes with 4 month mot and 3 month tax , car is parked on the drive as u can see , and am puting it with no reserve. so crab a bargain

good luck"

I especially like 'elictic' mirror, so am off to 'crab' a bargain.

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Very good.. All cringeworthy - Dont forget 'Fully loaded' and 'too many extras to list'

.... well actually, I'm more bothered about the options, toys and trimmings, colours etc than what year or mileage it is, so if you can't tell me what its actually got, I'll find someone else whos selling one that can... !

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mk3 golf with mk4 golf head lights lexus rear lights body kit lowered on springs and shocks (ajustable) 17"rimz exhaust straight from cat dvd stereo 6by9s push start button 4engine cant think f much more sorry ring me 4 more info years m.o.t no tax bad bits fans not workin still heat car up bearing gone on top shock 12 part 30 to fit thats all paint gob not all that

[/ QUOTE ]

What? confused.gif

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