theduisbergkid Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 I'm (still) looking for a car to use for work, not in a great hurry, but I am amazed at some of the gibberish people write in their ads. Here is an EBay gem I found today : "this car is not for the faint harted because it realy can go and its not to bad on fuel eather." I also love these over-used phrases (usually used to decribe a sh*theap) : "Mint for year" - It's either mint, or it is not, pillock. "Ice cold AirCon" - Yes, thats what you would expect, isn't it. "Stunning" - Sorry, very rarely is a car stunning, Liz Hurley b0ll0ck naked is (probably) stunning, but 99% of cars are not. "Sale due to ban" - Ie the car has been caned by a criminal, so thats pretty appealing to a prospective buyer then. "mileage reflects price" - yes, you read that right. They must have said 'it's up for 10k, so we need to put a few miles on the clock, go and drive it round the M25 for a few days'. Durrr. "Only selling due to new car" - Why did they buy a new car ? Beacuse the old one is knackered ? "No dreamers" - thats me stuffed then, I normally dream of me and Ulrika living wild on an island somewhere. "Not the usual rubbish" - Oh really ? Thats a relief then. "Everyone should own a XXXX once in their life" - Says who ? A XXXX is no good to my housebound granny now is it ? "These cars easily handle high milages" - Usually describing some 200k+ sh*tter with bits hanging off. "Previously supplied by ourselves recently" - to someone who was sick of it breaking down, and demanded the garage take the car back. "Heavily modded" - Ie, heavily ruined. Where can you find nice, original, historied cars sold by people who can speak plain English ? Harrumph.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 You miserable fecker. Just get one with it and buy a Kia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiverpaulH Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Excellent, but you missed one off that always makes me laugh: First to see will buy, (especially on a car also mentioned as re-advertised due to timewaster). Hmmm so the first to see it didn't buy it then. Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Sorry, was completely distracted by Anna Friel there, what were you saying ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Here's another belter : "This vehicle it run perfect , and has no mechanical fault , comes with all the options lether seat , elictic mirror and windows / sunroof / p/ stearing / c/ locking / and / cd player / also comes with 4 month mot and 3 month tax , car is parked on the drive as u can see , and am puting it with no reserve. so crab a bargain good luck" I especially like 'elictic' mirror, so am off to 'crab' a bargain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Ha ha, totally agree with all of those Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IT_S8 Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Very good.. All cringeworthy - Dont forget 'Fully loaded' and 'too many extras to list' .... well actually, I'm more bothered about the options, toys and trimmings, colours etc than what year or mileage it is, so if you can't tell me what its actually got, I'll find someone else whos selling one that can... ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 "too many extras to list" means "IM NOT 2 GUD AT TYPIN AN CARNT BE FOOKED 2 RITE DOWN ALL THE STUFF THE CAR AS GOT M8" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazdot Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 [ QUOTE ] "too many extras to list" means "IM NOT 2 GUD AT TYPIN AN CARNT BE FOOKED 2 RITE DOWN ALL THE STUFF THE CAR AS GOT M8" [/ QUOTE ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stooH Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Have you been looking at the Chelfing site again Duisberg? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Have you been looking at the Chelfing site again Duisberg? [/ QUOTE ] Funny you should say that. There's not been an update in a while from Chelfing. I hear they're working on a new fuel and will have a fishy press release later this week... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Is this going to be an advance from running on chip fat to running on Omega 3 enriched fish oil and only £472.38 a litre...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Is this going to be an advance from running on chip fat to running on Omega 3 enriched fish oil and only £472.38 a litre...? [/ QUOTE ] I will say one word : Piggvar. Off to do some real word for a bit now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 Here's a beauty from today "ORIGINAL M3 ALACANTY M,TECH SPORTS TRIM" - I wonder if he means Alacantra (leather), or Alicante (crappy Spanish tourist resort) ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustynuts Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 Link. [ QUOTE ] mk3 golf with mk4 golf head lights lexus rear lights body kit lowered on springs and shocks (ajustable) 17"rimz exhaust straight from cat dvd stereo 6by9s push start button 4engine cant think f much more sorry ring me 4 more info years m.o.t no tax bad bits fans not workin still heat car up bearing gone on top shock 12 part 30 to fit thats all paint gob not all that [/ QUOTE ] What? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 Fish house toast swim happy down fifteen 8 random love happen dog golf table plug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cupramax Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I wonder if he means Alacantra (leather), [/ QUOTE ] I think it helps if you learn to spell things right yourself before picking up others... it's Alcantara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 Personally it's a lack of spelling that hacks me off. If they can't write a car advert then what the hell is their car going to be like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 20, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I wonder if he means Alacantra (leather), [/ QUOTE ] I think it helps if you learn to spell things right yourself before picking up others... it's Alcantara [/ QUOTE ] OK, you got me there, but if I was selling the car I would have checked it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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