zerologic Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Genuine quotes from Insurance Claims... "Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early." "The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket." Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus? The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo. "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke." "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight" "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again" "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment." "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention." "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way" "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face" "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole." "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car." "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it." "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." "As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before." "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian." "My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle." "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull." "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth." "The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end." "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing." "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way." "No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S3Bangs Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Surely these can't be true My favourite "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerologic Posted January 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 I dunno... they are from the RAC My favourite "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sotty Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 haha very good These are like some quoted a few years ago by Jasper Carrot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby_simon Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Jasper Carrot was going on about some of these 20 years ago! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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