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Feel good about owning an Audi


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Mine rattles from every corner and feels like they test drove it for 300,000 kms before giving it to me.

I think they opened the glove compartment 10,000 times before I did as it's completely fecked!

And why are the sodding lights always full of condensation? They clearly didnt test that properly did they!!! :ffs:

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Audi Marketing Bullsh*t.

The premium Marques have opened a new battlefront, abandoning their fight over Nürburgring laptimes to fight for the title of most ‘lifestyle’ brand. Despite extensive research, I cannot find the origin of this vacuous phrase, but with a little googling, we can see who is winning the ‘ lifestyle’ war. A simple search for “BMW + Lifestyle” yields nearly 3 million results. Given that a large chunk of their business is flogging MINIs to estate agents and beauty salon owners, you would imagine Munich’s marketing men would do better. “Jaguar + lifestyle” brings up 3.5 million results, although it would seem most of these relate to playing Golf. “Lexus + Lifestyle” has a million more, and “Rexus + rifestyle” when typed with a squinting face brings another 7. VW and Porsche each have just over 6 million hits, proving that owning a ‘people’s car’ still leaves you susceptible to ‘lifestyle’ sales gibberish. I can reveal that the winner of the ‘Lifestyle’ battle is Audi with over 8 million results for “ Audi + lifestyle”. Full results below :


So what is ‘ Audi lifestyle’ ? On their website, Audi say (take a deep breath) : “The lifestyle articles from quattro GmbH allow our customers both to express their identification with Audi in a way that extends beyond the extensive Audi model range, and to benefit from the expert skills that the brand behind the four rings boasts in other product fields too.” or in plain English “You can buy stuff with the Audi logo on in order to impress other Recruitment Consultants”. Tat such as this Audi-logo’d watch for example, available in platinum for just £24’900. Perusing the ‘net you can find the same watch with the VW logo for £900, Skoda logo for £99, or a Seat logo for 52 easy payments of £1.29. Possibly.

I’m off to google “Eva Padberg + Swarfega + Lotus”, that’s my kinda lifestyle. :coffee:

(Apologies for hijacking the thread Scotty)

Edited by theduisbergkid
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I just had a lexus advert at the top of my page saying "To find out about the latest Lexus recall information click here". What the feck kind of marketing is that?

I thought they were reliable. And lexii owners don't have computers anyway do they?

Otherwise they'd have googled "are lexii owners *****?" and seen the results for themselves!

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What pi55es me of, is that bloke lying inside the boot making sure it sounds right from the inside when closing, where the hell was he when they test Engines/Gearboxes? I have been without my S8 for a month and have had to buy a BMW as my engine has failed after only replacing the gearbox the month before at the cost of thousands. Git. +++

P.S I'm still loyal enough to it to have not got rid and am putting in a new engine!

Edited by SINGH
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That's the one.

I loved to hate it.

Strong but crude engine. Phenomenal fuel economy. Good paint. Nice looking.

Nicely finished but cramped inside. Good gearchange. Reasonable, though soft, handling.

All of which was completely negated by the worst front wheel driven system on any car the right side of the 1900's. Utterly neolithic, zero traction, a total death machine. Add to that the worst dealer experience the wrong side of Proton and we'd start to get somewhere near the level of contempt I had for the car. I tried to kill it and almost succeeded. Almost.

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