theduisbergkid Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Possibly NSFW, click 'x' now if you're of a squeamish disposition.... Last Friday night I went for a beer and curry with a bunch of the lads. After a very heavy night on the pop I walked home, with my Bro-in-law, who some of you might have met in the past. I ask that you keep this under your hat as I'm understandably embarrased about what he shared with me. He has been married to my Sis for about 10 years now, a decent, hardworking, but slightly mental bloke. He rides competitive motorcross to a high standard and on the odd occasion I let him drive my car, he has scared me sh*tless, very quick indeed. I had noticed that his MGF was sold some time ago, and he bought a knackered Transit van with questionable paperwork. I overlooked this. He then bought a mangy dog. I started to worry. Then comes the bombshell.... he told me he has been saving for some time, and I assumed he would put the money towards something 4 wheeled and fun, or at least, 2 wheeled and noisy. No, as we staggered along he confessed... he is buying a c*****n. At first I thought he was joking of course, but no, he's quite serious, he is buying a c*****n, and will tow it places with his Transit van. My head is all over the place this morning. Is he mentally ill !? Does he want to be a Gyppo ? Does he want my little sis to be mistaken for a feral peg-seller ? Should I be there for him at his hour of need, or (as instinct tells me), turn my back on him forever as a lost soul ? I wanted to punch some sense into him, but as he is bigger than me, and I'm a wimp, I decided against it. I hoped it was just the beer talking, but no, I've since seen him on EBay bidding for an "Eldiss Shake n Vac Typhoon XXXL Emporer B&B Royale Deluxe Supreme and Hold the mayo". I'd really appreciate some advice on how to handle this. Please. I fear we may have lost him already.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Christ, I thought I was sailing dangerously close to the caravanning wind (er, so to speak) by buying a Legacy estate... He's lost. The caravan is bad enough, but towing it with a Transit is simply too much. Give him a list of lay-bys and accessible fields in Essex and tell him to f*ck off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 and hide yer best silver when they come to visit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve2 Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 at the very least tell him to get a motorhome or for real kudos a caravelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve2 Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 and hide yer best silver when they come to visit and you think tdk has got any real silver? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_Bangle Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 he's quite serious, he is buying a c*****n Oh a caravan! ... it could have been worse, he could have been buying a Citroen!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brabus Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Oh a caravan! ... it could have been worse, he could have been buying a Citroen!!! That's what I thought it was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted January 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 and you think tdk has got any real silver? Oi ! :fecker: A Citroen (well, an AX Gti, DS or C6) would be OK, but c'mon, a C*****n ?! He is talking about *cringes* going on holiday in it. To Scotland. What kind of masochist does this ? Short of simply burning the thig when he's not looking, what else can I do ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 My Welsh mate who lives on a hill has just bought one of these ! It cost him £8k, is 80 years old and post refurb will sell between £14-£18k. He has the horses already and intends to travel in it, blocking all B roads as he struggles to get the lazy 4rsed horses to pull him up hills. And you think your BiL has problems ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m4ttm4son Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 He is talking about *cringes* going on holiday in it. To Scotland. What kind of masochist does this ? At least he only wants to be in it while on holiday. I thought you meant he was going to sell up and hit the road...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Just ask him to work out how many nights in a decent hotel he could have for the same price as a caravan, then explain that in hotels, you don't have to empty your own sh1t out of a bucket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 You'll have to be honest with him, sit him down and tell him he's being extremely silly and wasting his time. There is no chance, no chance at all, that he will be accepted across the border towing a caravan. Many have tried it before, and I believe back in the day, a few slipped though the net. However, I now patrol the border with a 1million candle torch (and a windy upy one). And not one of those things have slipped though the net since last April whenst one of them off roaded past the patrol in the dead of night. Fair warning me thinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted January 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Just ask him to work out how many nights in a decent hotel he could have for the same price as a caravan, then explain that in hotels, you don't have to empty your own sh1t out of a bucket. This is my standard line when anyone mentions c******s, but I have this horrible feeling he likes emptying his own sh*t out of a bucket, and that's before you get to doing your own cooking, cleaning and so on. See, to a rational mind, c*********g is hell on earth, but I can't reason with his obviously addled mind. Maxy, keep your eyes peeled and your firearm loaded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Duisberg - there's only one answer to it. Shoot the fecker... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 [ Maxy, keep your eyes peeled and your firearm loaded. Oh, no firearm required. I have a couple of really sick swans and a plastic spud gun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billy2shots Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 It would be so wrong for you BIL to go to Scotland. He would be asking for trouble, rubbing their noses in it like that. 2 things they can only dream of, a c*****n and a holiday! Hell make it 3 A Transit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 It would be so wrong for you BIL to go to Scotland. He would be asking for trouble, rubbing their noses in it like that. 2 things they can only dream of, a c*****n and a holiday! Hell make it 3 A Transit No wonder mrme has a dislike for you!! A nasty creature. MCFC has alot to answer for I tell you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billy2shots Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) No wonder mrme has a dislike for you!!A nasty creature. MCFC has alot to answer for I tell you I am sorry if my poor attempt at a joke has offended you. It was meant in the same context as the hundreds of other jokes on TSN (and other forums) from English<Scottish, Scottish<English, Northern<Southern and Southern<Northern etc etc etc. (see page 4 in thread "moments when you just realise something). It was said very much tongue in cheek as I have lots of Scottish blood running through my family. In fact earlier when I wrote my post, my 6 year old nephew was with me and his father is Scottish. I often say to him that he is lucky and when he is older he could have a choice for who he plays football for. If he's good he could play for England, and if he's not...... As for "A nasty creature" I look forward to you responding to all other jokes in the same vain with comments like these. Thats unless you just pounced on a comment made by me because I dont agree with SOME of the things one of your chums says. Maxyboy it is normal not to like some of the things people say but we all respond differently, I dont agree with your views that it's right to torture people but chose not to comment. I certainly wouldn't call you "A nasty creature" because like I say we are all different. Once again I am sorry if this really did upset you (or anyone else) and it was a stupid attempt at humour and was not my aim to cause offence. Edited January 24, 2011 by billy2shots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am sorry if my poor attempt at a joke has offended you. It was meant in the same context as the hundreds of other jokes on TSN (and other forums) from English<Scottish, Scottish<English, Northern<Southern and Southern<Northern etc etc etc. (see page 4 in thread "moments when you just realise something).It was said very much tongue in cheek as I have lots of Scottish blood running through my family. In fact earlier when I wrote my post, my 6 year old nephew was with me and his father is Scottish. I often say to him that he is lucky and when he is older he could have a choice for who he plays football for. If he's good he could play for England, and if he's not...... As for "A nasty creature" I look forward to you responding to all other jokes in the same vain with comments like these. Thats unless you just pounced on a comment made by me because I dont agree with SOME of the things one of your chums says. Maxyboy it is normal not to like some of the things people say but we all respond differently, I dont agree with your views that it's right to torture people but chose not to comment. I certainly wouldn't call you "A nasty creature" because like I say we are all different. Once again I am sorry if this really did upset you (or anyone else) and it was a stupid attempt at humour and was not my aim to cause offence. Jesus bud, my reply was meant in as much jest as your joke. Everyone back away, there is nothing to see here!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 wheres that Flynn character when you need him ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 billy2sh*ts you really are the completest arse in this thread. And it's TDK's thread. And Tipex has posted. So that's really saying something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billy2shots Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 How am I coming out bad in all of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 Because you're an arse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxyboy Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 How am I coming out bad in all of this? Maybe because you flew off the handle. I notice you havnt replied to my pm...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 How am I coming out bad in all of this? Here's your clue: It would be so wrong for you BIL to go to Scotland. He would be asking for trouble, rubbing their noses in it like that. 2 things they can only dream of, a c*****n and a holiday! Hell make it 3 A Transit There's people on here from Scotland who don't like what you've said. To fix the problem, you might want to apologise for making a twunt comment and then move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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