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Joe was on his way home from the Man United v Liverpool match on Sunday when he had to screech to a halt and ended up in a massive traffic jam. He wound down the window and thought to himself, "This seems bad, nothing's moving at all." He noticed a police officer walking back and forth, in and out of all the cars, so Joe shouts over, "Scuse' me officer, what's going on then?" The officer replies, "It's an Man United fan, he's so depressed about losing to Liverpool today and the prospect of winning nothing again this year, he feels a right idiot for gobbing off saying Man United are the best team in the world, he's actually threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire!!" The officer goes on, "His family find him arrogant, and he hasn't got many mates. I'm just walking around taking up a collection for him." "Nice one," says Joe, "how much have you collected so far?" "So far," replies the officer, "we've collected about 100 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning

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