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A funny text i just received....


Jon
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[ QUOTE ]

Women eh!!

Boob jobs, Botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellies & clits. Eyebrows plucked, bikini lines & legs waxed & they won't take it up the arse because it HURTS!!

smile.gif

Jon.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I was 20....ah...that brings back memories of a an ex GF who enjoyed every screaming second of it...time and time again...

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Oh how they jest!

So let me describe something (calm down Stiggy - it'll be fine, honest).

A female looking very much like Liz Hurley with the same attractive mamms gets up onto the sofa with a nightdress on and asks you to give her a good seeing to - and makes it obvious she wants you to do so twice with a slight variation....and you say "Nah, I'm watching TG babe"...

You little fibbers...especially you Dave...

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[ QUOTE ]

I took a bird up the arse and her eyes almost popped out yelrotflmao.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that the local pub? grin.gif

Well Liz came back for more each day afterwards.

After a few months that relationship fizzled out as it became obvious that love is no sound foundation for a life long commitment and that the arse wears off after a while too.

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[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

I took a bird up the arse and her eyes almost popped out yelrotflmao.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that the local pub? grin.gif

Well Liz came back for more each day afterwards.

After a few months that relationship fizzled out as it became obvious that love is no sound foundation for a life long commitment and that the arse wears off after a while too.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same thing happened to me.

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[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

I took a bird up the arse and her eyes almost popped out yelrotflmao.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that the local pub? grin.gif

Well Liz came back for more each day afterwards.

After a few months that relationship fizzled out as it became obvious that love is no sound foundation for a life long commitment and that the arse wears off after a while too.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same thing happened to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

WHAT! YER EYES ALMOST POPPED OUT???? FIREdevil.gif

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Is sodomy still classed as an illegal activity??

Certainly a few years ago it was legal between consenting males (bu99ery), but illegal between a man and his wife (sodomy).

In the paper a week or so ago I read a story about a footballer from overseas playing here as a forward. He was in the penality box waiting for a corner and one of the defenders, (just as the ball is flying toward the forwards head) tried to slip his thumb up the forwards bottom.

Ref doesn't see it, forward misses easy goal game continues, forward not happy.

I was just surprised it wasn't one of the Neville Brothers!

Taking of:- There's only one woman in the world with two c$%nts, Mrs Neville. Oh, the old ones are the good ones.

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[ QUOTE ]

Is sodomy still classed as an illegal activity??

[/ QUOTE ]

If so, lock me up from the exploits with that ex GF and another 24 yr old in the back of an Escort many years before I was married

[ QUOTE ]

but illegal between a man and his wife (sodomy)

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Wouldn't matter if it was legal or not, the chances of it are 500,000,000-1 so it'd be a pointless law anyway.

[ QUOTE ]

Taking of:- There's only one woman in the world with two c$%nts, Mrs Neville. Oh, the old ones are the good ones.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats it! Hit listed!

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I'm sure you could call up a Henry, Cole, Lampard, Terry, THFC joke.

I'm not one for war openfire.gif over footie, can I please be forgiven. crazy.gif

Still think there's too much cheating (Ash Cole included) and Keane really does need to grow up (studs over the new THFC Maloney(?) last week)

Roll on the Easter / spring madness (Chelseas, Man Utd, Arsenal) 2nd game period- That will sort the season out!

slap.gif

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