Logical Scientist.

[Ari]

> > Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a

> > rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a

> > stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the

occupation

> > of the suit...

> >

> > Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant. Stuart: - No way - he's a

> > stockbroker. Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't

come

> > in here!

> >

> > The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets

> > the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet

he

> > sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several

> > beers get the better of the builder...

> >

> > Dave: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were

> > wondering what you do for a living?

> > Suit: - No offence taken ! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession !

> > Dave: - Oh !What's that then ?

> > Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ...Do you have a goldfish at

home?

> > Dave: - Er ...mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

> > Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or

> > in a pond. Which is it?

> > Dave: - It's in a pond!

> > Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have

> > a large garden then?

> > Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

> > Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town

> > if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

> > Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!

> > Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical

to

> > assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are

quite

> > probably married?

> > Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

> > Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active

> > with your wife on a regular basis?

> > Dave:- Yep! Four nights a week!

> > Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate

> > very often?

> > Dave: - Me?Never

> > Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

> > Dave: -How's that then?

> > Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish,

> > I've told you about your sex life !

> > Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

> >

> > Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

> >

> > Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

> > Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

> > Stuart: - What's that then?

> > Dave:- I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

> > Stuart: - Nope

> > Dave: - Well then, you're a ****er.