Ari Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Porsche and sheep Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?" The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay." The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here." The shepherd answers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man takes an animal and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?" The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are a consultant." "How did you know?" asks the young man. "Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business. Now can I have my dog back?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sipperana Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Yup. That's consultants alright. And if his report had said 1,585 sheep he would have blamed you because one of your sheep moved and then charged you again to submit a revised report. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 I like that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belchy Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Excellent However ... I find it hard to believe that a man that takes the time and money to dress himself in an Armani suit would wear a Pierre Cardin tie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby_simon Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Being an ex consultant in the software industry you forgot the "Deliver it late" "it did not work" "and you charged me to fix it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 [ QUOTE ] I like that one! [/ QUOTE ] Are you talking about one of the sheep or the joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrzed Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 One of the sheep had a ginger tinge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOSE Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 [ QUOTE ] One of the sheep had a ginger tinge [/ QUOTE ] tinge....?? Thats a new word for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Being an ex consultant in the software industry you forgot the "Deliver it late" "it did not work" "and you charged me to fix it" [/ QUOTE ] Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made from prolonging the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilB Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 [ QUOTE ] One of the sheep had a ginger tinge [/ QUOTE ] Is that a typo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skifly Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 go easy on the consultants guys - some of us work for the decent ones!! (admittedly one of the very few decent ones)!! Scooby - who did you work for? (PM if you want) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby_simon Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 [ QUOTE ] go easy on the consultants guys - some of us work for the decent ones!! (admittedly one of the very few decent ones)!! Scooby - who did you work for? (PM if you want) [/ QUOTE ] Comments were a bit "in my cheek" PM on the way..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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