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Haynes - English Translation


syeldham
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Haynes: This is a snug fit.

English: You will skin your knuckles!

Haynes: This is a tight fit.

English: Not a hope in hell matey!

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...

English: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos with no idea what's what.

Haynes: Pry...

English: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...

English: Go and buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...

English: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Lightly...

Translation: Prepare to start getting cross when it doesn't come off...

Haynes: Weekly checks...

Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Carefully......

Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...

Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant.......

Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: One spanner rating.

Translation: Your Granny could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.

Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, 'ikkle number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating.

Translation: But Mini's are easy to maintain right... right?

Haynes: Four spanner rating.

Translation: Don't you dare. Has it ever worked before?

Haynes: Five spanner rating.

Translation: The garage would write it off, so what makes you think you can do it?

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...

Translation: Forget it.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.

Translation: It's about now you start wishing you made a note of what order these bits came off in.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...

Translation: Snap off the little buggers

Haynes: Index

Translation: List of all the things in the book except the thing you want to do.

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[ QUOTE ]

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...

Translation: Snap off the little buggers

[/ QUOTE ]

Also very true!

I believe that Haynes Mauals only apply to the car up to a few mins after its rolled off the production, after which point the rules of mechancics have changed!!

smile.gif

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