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Dream on Aguri !


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Just 131 days before the 2006 Formula One season kicks off in Bahrain, ex-F1 journeyman, Aguri Suzuki, has announced he will be running the much vaunted Honda ‘B’ team. Suzuki may have Honda motors sorted for next year, but apart from the lease on the old Arrows factory and a handful (by F1 standards) of staff that is about it. The official F1 website (F1.com) points out that he will not know until December if his entry will even be accepted.

All this has not stopped the F1 media circus going into overdrive with headlines appearing hourly, such as ‘Suzuki tight-lipped about F1 sponsors’ (real world translation: ‘we haven’t got any’) or, ‘Drivers not a priority, says Suzuki’ (meaning, any pay driver and/or Takuma Sato will do..) and ‘Suzuki pleads for Honda, BAR help’ (Oh my God –what do I do now ?). ITV's Teletext service is on fine form however, implying that this is a 'Suzuki' team, (as in the manufacturer of crap cars).

Anyway, for no reason whatsoever, here is a picture of Suzuki driving Gerhard Berger’s McLaren Honda MP4/6, (no - I don't know why either) quite possibly the only time you’ll see him near an F1 car anytime soon…

Rob.

post-7430-137914331603_thumb.jpg

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[ QUOTE ]

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Virtual prize for anyone who can tell us what "Aguri" means in Greek...

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Cucumber sekret.gif

But then there's also an 'n' missing coffee.gif

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OK, so 'Aguri' is Greek for cucumber. Therefore, in honour of the newest Formula One team on the block, Super Aguri F1, here is the easy guide to making a race car from a cucumber. Expect to see this little beauty winning races on vegetable patches around the globe anytime soon.

Wash one cucumber.

If you want racing stripes, then use a peeler to strip the green peel off, leaving stripes of green on either side of your peeled strip.

Cut four wheels from one end.

What’s left of the cucumber after your wheels are cut out is going to be the body of your car with the pointed end being the nose.

Use toothpicks to stick the four wheels onto the car.

Cut a stalk of celery to use for the front and rear wings of the car. Use toothpicks to attach it to the cucumber body.

Use a grape tomato for the driver’s helmeted head, stuck into the cucumber by toothpick.

You can also use cheese slices to cut out shapes, numbers, and decorations for your car.

(see pic)

Rob

post-7430-13791433219_thumb.jpg

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[ QUOTE ]

OK, so 'Aguri' is Greek for cucumber. Therefore, in honour of the newest Formula One team on the block, Super Aguri F1, here is the easy guide to making a race car from a cucumber. Expect to see this little beauty winning races on vegetable patches around the globe anytime soon.

Wash one cucumber.

If you want racing stripes, then use a peeler to strip the green peel off, leaving stripes of green on either side of your peeled strip.

Cut four wheels from one end.

What’s left of the cucumber after your wheels are cut out is going to be the body of your car with the pointed end being the nose.

Use toothpicks to stick the four wheels onto the car.

Cut a stalk of celery to use for the front and rear wings of the car. Use toothpicks to attach it to the cucumber body.

Use a grape tomato for the driver’s helmeted head, stuck into the cucumber by toothpick.

You can also use cheese slices to cut out shapes, numbers, and decorations for your car.

(see pic)

[/ QUOTE ]

yelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gif

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Dear Mr Bobski,

I have been instructed by my client, one Mr A Suzuki, to instruct you to cease and desist your current activities. All designs by the Suzuki Formula Race Team are subject to copyright and such a breach may lead to other teams stealing an advantage held by my client (such as happened between Spirit and Arrows in the late '70's and the widespread use of carbon fibre after the McLaren used it in 1982). Mr Suzuki feels that the use of salad items in the construction of his racing car is an exciting development as it can be eaten by the driver in case of him becoming trapped and it is inherently fireproof. Apparently the idea came to the designer when he was told that he had as much chance of making the grid in '06 as he did growing a marrow the size of his house. That marrow is now intended to become the team motorhome.

My client also objects to the number on the car in your illustration as he feels that he will never be able to make it to fourth in the world championship to earn the number 7 shown.

I would therefore ask you to refrain from any future divulgences of the above information, and also stop implying that the Suzuki team is about as likely to happen as Ralf Schumacher winning the world championship.

Yours Faithfully,

A Lawyer,

Messers Snowball, Chance & Hell

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[ QUOTE ]

Dear Mr Bobski,

I have been instructed by my client, one Mr A Suzuki, to instruct you to cease and desist your current activities. All designs by the Suzuki Formula Race Team are subject to copyright and such a breach may lead to other teams stealing an advantage held by my client (such as happened between Spirit and Arrows in the late '70's and the widespread use of carbon fibre after the McLaren used it in 1982). Mr Suzuki feels that the use of salad items in the construction of his racing car is an exciting development as it can be eaten by the driver in case of him becoming trapped and it is inherently fireproof. Apparently the idea came to the designer when he was told that he had as much chance of making the grid in '06 as he did growing a marrow the size of his house. That marrow is now intended to become the team motorhome.

My client also objects to the number on the car in your illustration as he feels that he will never be able to make it to fourth in the world championship to earn the number 7 shown.

I would therefore ask you to refrain from any future divulgences of the above information, and also stop implying that the Suzuki team is about as likely to happen as Ralf Schumacher winning the world championship.

Yours Faithfully,

A Lawyer,

Messers Snowball, Chance & Hell

[/ QUOTE ]

yelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gifyelrotflmao.giflol.gif

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[ QUOTE ]

Dear Mr Bobski,

...Mr Suzuki feels that the use of salad items in the construction of his racing car is an exciting development as it can be eaten by the driver in case of him becoming trapped and it is inherently fireproof. <snip>

Yours Faithfully,

A Lawyer,

Messers Snowball, Chance & Hell

[/ QUOTE ]

Eating the car while trapped? Non-flammable?

Messers Snowball, Chance, & Hell must not know the results of a high fiber diet.

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