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How to be a complete w*nker with an Audi Cab III


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Ok so the snows here so it's clearly time for another of these. smashfreakB.gif

Now this one needs to be set up just so for full effect. I'm glad to say that I mastered it perfectly straight off, but then I seem to have the knack. SAUER0421.GIF

As with all the best "How to be" episodes it involves snow, and the car interior... UHOH7.GIF

So, here we go, follow closely please, I shall expect you all to be doing this.

1. Position your car on a driveway with a left to right downward slope (as you look forward out of the car) and park your car at a diagonal angle so the front right is the lowest point and the rear left the highest. As an example, my drive would be the perfect setting.

2. Now wait for a good blizzard.

3. Wait till the middle of the day when it's got a bit milder, just enough to lose the ice but retain the snow.

4. Notice that in order to drive your Audi Cabrio you must clear the thickly covered windscreen.

5. Ignore Ian C's advice (as usual) and fill kettle with tepid water (not hot!)

6. Pour onto top of windscreen in attempt to sluice snow away. Note the way the snow just seems to absorb the water with little movement.

7. Repeat step 6 twice.

8. Think "hmmm... it's not icy, a swish of the wipers would probably clear that now".

9. Open drivers door and sit in seat with legs out of car, turn on ignition.

10. Turn on wipers.

11. Note that all snow and absorbed water is instantly cleared in one big right to left swish of the wiper blades.

12. Note avalanche of snow and ice from righthand screen pillar straight down the inside of the car door and into car door pocket!!

13. Desperately try to clear snow, bits of ice, and water from door pocket, door switches, inside of door frame, carpet etc with fingers. Fail. Note just how flippin cold it is!!!

14. Bonus points are awarded for having legs in perfect position to catch splashback of original avalanche all over trouser legs.

15. Swear.

16. Alot.

17. Notice thin film of residual water left on windscreen has now frozen...

18. Repeat 15.

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