steffiraf Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f***ing red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a big diamond. My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you." Q.:- What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A.:- A rumour. He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly." She said, "Well, you've succeeded." He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said, "That's a good idea......you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart." He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?" She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b****ard." Q.:- What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A.:- 45 minutes Q.:- What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A.:- Through his chest with a sharp knife. Q.:- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking? A.:- Because those men already have boyfriends. Q.:- What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying? A.:- The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Q.:- What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head? A.:- Reload and try again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdog Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Here's another one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insurance Jon Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 steffis post was obviously written by a man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steffiraf Posted January 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 How very perceptive of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insurance Jon Posted January 29, 2006 Report Share Posted January 29, 2006 aint it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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