DaddyDub Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 These are old but great: THE GIRL'S PRAYER Our Cash Which art on plastic Hallowed be thy name Thy Cartier watch Thy Prada bag In Harrods As it is in Selfridges Give us each day our Platinum Visa And forgive us our overdraft As we forgive those who stop our MasterCard And lead us not into Next And deliver us from Benneton For thine is the Cartier, the Dior and the Armani For Chanel No.5 and Eternity Amex. and now... THE BOY'S PRAYER Our beer Which art in bottles Hallowed be thy sport Thy will be drunk I will be drunk At home as it is in the pub Give us each day our daily beverage And forgive us our spillage As we forgive those who spillest against us And lead us not into poofwine tasting And deliver us from Tequila For mine is the bitter The chicks and the footy Forever and ever Barmen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaddyDub Posted June 22, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 and some jokes... Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ----------------- -------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. -------------------------------------------------- The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun! . "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls... After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 How do you stop a woman sucking your dick? Marry her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaddyDub Posted June 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 D@mn I found that one out the hard way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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