dukeboy749r Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Here then, are the glorious winners: 1. THE WINNER: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. .... And now, the honorable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan , at 5 a.m. , flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by! mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 A little early, a little late, and a little untrue... http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeboy749r Posted November 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 B*gger next you'll be telling me there is no pot of gold at the foot of every rainbow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Is it written on the Internet or in a chain email? If so then it must be true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeboy749r Posted November 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 I agree - it partly was, so can I be let off..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Go on then, but don't let it happen again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Well, Number 7 is true as I have seen the security video of it happening on Sky a while ago. But it being America, it probably happens daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 You need to send it in to Snopes then. [ QUOTE ] Entry #7, about the failed thief who attempted to heave a cinder block through a store's window only to have the oversized brick rebound off the Plexiglass and knock him out, was published in the 1995 compilation America's Dumbest Criminals. (Note that the inclusion of this item and the next one in that book is no guarantee of the factuality of either incident, as that volume also includes the venerable "revenging animal" urban legend, supposedly told of a coyote who destroyed his killers' $20,000 4x4 Blazer by going to ground under it with a lit stick of dynamite tied to its tail.) While the book's authors do claim the Fraternal Order of Police, based in Nashville, received a video of the cinder block robbery attempt, we have been unable to substantiate the tale through searches of news databases. [/ QUOTE ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeboy749r Posted November 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 [ QUOTE ] Go on then, but don't let it happen again! [/ QUOTE ] Thanks Guv (tugging forlock...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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