Best putdown ever ?

[Dadstoys]

I can't remember the names of the Aussie Cricketer trying to wind up the English Cricketer during one of the internationals, but allegedly the conversation went like this:

" Hey pommie, your looking a right fat b*astard "

reply:-

" thats because every time I f*ck your mrs, she gives me a biscuit "

priceless.

[malagus]

that was shane warne to one of our boys - it went 'hey warney - you get fatter each test' "thats because every time i fu*k your wife she gives me a biscuit' iirc

[Big_Al]

[ QUOTE ]

that was shane warne to one of our boys - it went 'hey warney - you get fatter each test' "thats because every time i fu*k your wife she gives me a biscuit' iirc

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong, Glenn McGrath(Aussie) to Eddo Brandes(Zimbabwe)

[Big_Al]

Here is a list of the best

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she gives me a biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played& missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to theboundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."

7. Ian Healy his legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat mac!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were poo then you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man .Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.

[Woppum]

[ QUOTE ]

Put your lip over your head and swallow

[/ QUOTE ]

Woppum, 2002

[garcon magnifique]

Allegedly in the England camp before the Spain game last week...

Lampard had been a bit of a tit about Barton being in the squad - wouldn't talk to him etc. Come breakfast time, Barton sits down at Lampard's table, which prompts Lampard to get up and move elsewhere. Just as he's beginning to walk away, Barton pipes up, "Don't worry, I wasn't going to nick your breakfast you fat c*nt."

I so want that to be true...

[garcon magnifique]

Oh, and Barton's comment about Lampard & Gerrard and their books after the World Cup... (this IS true)

"I played sh!t. Here's my autobiography."

[D1MAC]

[ QUOTE ]

Allegedly in the England camp before the Spain game last week...

Lampard had been a bit of a tit about Barton being in the squad - wouldn't talk to him etc. Come breakfast time, Barton sits down at Lampard's table, which prompts Lampard to get up and move elsewhere. Just as he's beginning to walk away, Barton pipes up, "Don't worry, I wasn't going to nick your breakfast you fat c*nt."

I so want that to be true...

[/ QUOTE ]

You, me and everyone else apart from a few W.London glory hunters. Best bit is, I can't imagine Lampard saying anything back since Barton would eat him alive.