Rejected Valentines

[trackside]

With the onset of the holiday, here's a list of rejected cards;

- "Happy Valentine's Day, from the guy who rubs up against you on the

elevator."

- "Congratulations, Valentine. John says you're NOT my baby's daddy."

- "Since it's Valentine's Day, how about charging me half price for sex?"

- "You sound cute on the illegal wiretap."

- "I love you so much when I'm drunk and the lighting is low."

- "Please say you'll be my Valentine. And ask your sister to join in, too."

- "I'll never stop loving you. Unless you get fat or something."

- "I'd do anything for you, so why can't you convert to Scientology?"

- "Happy Valentine's day, to the best 11 wives a Mullah could ask for."

- "Though we're 1,000 miles apart, I thank God for your nude web cam."

- "I just wanted to say I love you before the bird flu pandemic kills us."