Wallachie Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Bloody women.... I have been seeing (in the loosest possible terms) a girl, off and on for ages. We have never went out properly, apart from a very short fling over Xmas.....long story! Anyway, I go through stages where I don't think I fancy her, then all of a sudden I REALLY fancy her. When we get it on again, I always seem to go off her and end up hurting her. This is what happened over Xmas, and we're only now becoming friendly again, but I already think I'm starting to fancy her again and we'll be seeing each other at my mate's 30th this weekend...... At this moment, I fancy her again, but I'm conscious that if we get together again, I might go cold on her yet again..... The question is, do I ignore the feelings I have at the moment and hope the go away, or do I go with it and hope that the feelings stay?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Just go with the flow and your current feelings. What do you feel like when your with her, and idea why your feelings change ? Whats happened in past relationships or occasions that might be formingh your feelings. I have an ideas but no point putting those ideas into your head if its nothing to do with them. Miss right now might turn out to be Mrs right for ever, so give it a go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallachie Posted February 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 [ QUOTE ] What do you feel like when your with her, and idea why your feelings change ? Whats happened in past relationships or occasions that might be formingh your feelings. I have an ideas but no point putting those ideas into your head if its nothing to do with them. [/ QUOTE ] I have never had any really bad experiences in the past, this is a recurring thing though. I get together with a girl and it's great for the first while, but I seem to go off them relatively quickly. That's when the problems start for me, as soon as I can't have them anymore, that is when I want them back!! Weird or what.... This behaviour has cost me lots of potential girlfriends over the years.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 I'm afraid the sad truth is that we always want what we can't have. You only fancy her when you can't have her, as soon as you can you lose interest. If you didn't fancy her when you were seeing her before then you won't again. Go and find someone that you really want, if you have to question it at all then that's not her... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Sounds like a classic case of fear of commitment maybe ? You like the chase and the initial excitement, but then when things get serious you get a little scared about being with the same person for a while. It might have nothing to do with that but if it is then don't think about it and take each day as it comes and keep things fresh. Do different things together as often as you can and before you know it months might have passed and who knows where things might go then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lottiefox Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I'm afraid the sad truth is that we always want what we can't have. You only fancy her when you can't have her, as soon as you can you lose interest. If you didn't fancy her when you were seeing her before then you won't again. Go and find someone that you really want, if you have to question it at all then that's not her... [/ QUOTE ] Oh dear, I'm going to have to agree with Ari again. Don't mess her about again if you want my view, if you wanted to be with her next time then you wouldn't have gone off her before. You use the phrase "gone off", not anything like other factors caused it to end, e.g. distance, work pressures etc. Just "gone off" and that doesn't bode well for the future IMO. And don't say "Bloody women"! It hardly seems to be her faffing around!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Oh dear, I'm going to have to agree with Ari again. [/ QUOTE ] There's a good reason for that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagabond Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Sorry mate, it will never work. I know because i was that man for six years. I'm so full of remorse for dragging it out as the girl i was seeing off and on was really nice and ended up being very hurt. When she quite rightly asked what the feck i was playing at it took me a long time to figure it out. My only reasoning was that i kept going back to her because she was such a lovely person and we got on great. The relationship wasn't ever going to work because i never fell in love with her, god knows i really, really tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvantSE Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I'm afraid the sad truth is that we always want what we can't have. You only fancy her when you can't have her, as soon as you can you lose interest. If you didn't fancy her when you were seeing her before then you won't again. Go and find someone that you really want, if you have to question it at all then that's not her... [/ QUOTE ] I couldn't have put it better myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian_m Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Sorry mate, it will never work. I know because i was that man for six years. I'm so full of remorse for dragging it out as the girl i was seeing off and on was really nice and ended up being very hurt. When she quite rightly asked what the feck i was playing at it took me a long time to figure it out. My only reasoning was that i kept going back to her because she was such a lovely person and we got on great. The relationship wasn't ever going to work because i never fell in love with her, god knows i really, really tried. [/ QUOTE ] Its as if I wrote that!! I was in the exact same situation! I have also been in a relationship with someone who felt like how you are now, when we were apart she fancied me, then messed me about, its not nice mate, but at the same time, it takes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulboy Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Its not nice being an emotional vampire Sucking all the love and affection out of someone just because they are a nice person and you know you can (subconsciously of course). It would be better for all, if they met someone who didnt take all the time - and tell you to knob off and move on, Unless you are going to give, as much as you take in a relationship, it just aint fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallachie Posted February 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Some very valid points guys and gals, it's good to have an outsider's point of view on this, because most of my friends know her very well also. I'll be seeing her tonight, so I think I'll just keep myself under control and be mates with her again and nothing more.....but I have no self-control if she starts to flirt with me...., Remember though, if you want to stay single keep looking for that perfect woman... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRobin Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 ....No such thing as that perfect woman (or man, if you're a woman, or blah blah blah to be politically correct!). We love others in spite of their imperfections (so I'm told! ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Bloody good job for some of us... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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