A1GP Marketing push

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After submitting these, but not making the latest issue of Sniff, here is a little friday afternoon treat:

A1GP courting celeb drivers

With flagging attendances, viewer apathy, and a misguided attempt to tap into national pride, the organisers of A1GP have been searching for other cheap tricks to actually get someone to care about their race series. After seeing other series use guest or celebrity cars, A1GP got straight onto the cream of z-list celebrities who would attend the arrival of a train at a platform if their management told them too.

After discounting the contestants of Sky's contrived The Race show as being probably a bit too handy for A1GP, the seat was offered to blubberfest pseudo-celeb and casual racist Jade Goody. After hastily repainting a Minardi two seater, and taking out one of the seats to make room, Goody hit the track showing a good, if mid-field pace. She put her pace down to natural ability, and her new DVD "Jade's guide to driving dem cars wiv wings that arn't planes." Rumours of Jade's lap times being down to the use of Ralf Schumacher in a fat suit have yet to be disproved.

"It was a masterstroke" said former double glazing salesman, window cleaner, and A1GP CEO Fred Bogwash. "If we can get riots, newspaper coverage, and international political disputes, imagine what it would do for the series. In fact, imagine what newspaper coverage would do. After all, it's not like we've got any sponsors to get upset..."

With A1GP desperate for any kind of publicity, the organisers 'sneakily' have put the Team GB garage next to Team India, and 24 hour cameras have been installed, monitoring the out bursts of the subnormal media whale for anything that can be blown out of all proportion and splashed across the tabloids. Jade is now getting to know her paddock neighbour Narayne Kartykeemanaan. Merchandise stands have stocked on effigies ready for the first race of the season, just in case any spectators turn up.

Net Nerd looks up A1GP

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There was shock amongst the Internet community as news broke that someone had actually gone onto a motorsport website and looked for A1GP information. As webmasters rejoiced, and one journalist felt his efforts hadn't been in vain, word spread that all was not as it had seemed.

"I was looking for some information so I could write a cheap shot parody piece for a notorious motoring humour website" said nerd Talbot Scorpio-Wingmirror, a man who 'famously' changed his name to reflect his love of cars. "I don't watch A1GP! I mean, pay all that money for fancy channels on my satellite package, when I can watch Mongolian over-40s Karting on Motors TV? it's an easy choice!" continued Talbot "I just wanted to be able to boast on the forum I moderate - allthingsairfilters.com - that I am actually as whacky as I claim!"

With webmasters putting server upgrades on hold, and one journalist realising that covering sloth racing would get him more acclaim than his current commission, A1GP goes back to being the most expensive club racing series in the world. In other A1GP news, the rule requiring team managers' wives to make sandwiches and do lap charts has been amended. It now allows any family member to take the role, although best mate who wishes he was driving and not poncing about with a clipboard and bread knife is permissible with approval from the clerk of the course.

[sayerbloke]

I went to the first ever A1GP event at Brands.

Never heard anything more about the series. So much for hanging onto all the tickets and pitlane passes because they might be worth something in the future!