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Irish Pilots


Hopsta
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Old joke but still bloody funny !

Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night with

Paddy the Pilot and Shamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin

airport,they looked out the front window.

"B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is".

"You're not fookin kiddin Paddy", replied Shamus.

"Dis is gonna be one a de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see" said

Paddy.

"You're not fookin kiddin Paddy", replied Shamus.

"Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse" said

Paddy.

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.

"And den ye put de flaps down straightaway" said Paddy.

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.

"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy.

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.

"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy.

"I'll be doing dat already" replied Shamus.

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves and

sweaty palms.

As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse,

put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with

all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of

smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the

runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.

As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the

front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin runway

I have EVER seen in me whole life".

Shamus looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, but look how

fookin wide it is".

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