Kicks

[Kraken 0]

Dave walks into a pub and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.

He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's brilliant - well done mate!" says Dave.

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Dave.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you've ever seen."

"And what happened then?"

(Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face!"