More crap jokes please?

[garcon magnifique]

So this jelly baby goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I need an Aids test."

Doctor says, "That's ridiculous, you're a jelly baby!"

"I know, but I've been shagging All Sorts..."

Took my rottweiler to the vets yesterday. "Can you have a look at him, I think he's cross-eyed."

So the vet picks him up and shines a torch into each eye and looks a bit worried.

"I'm going to have to put him down."

"What?!" I says, "Cos he's cross-eyed?!"

"No, he's really heavy."

[garcon magnifique]

Bloke goes into a dentists and says, "Can you help me, I think I'm a moth."

A bit taken aback, the dentist says, "I'm a dentist, not a psychiatrist!"

"I know, but the light was on."

And talking of Jimmy Carr...

"Talking to a mate in the pub last night, he's really knackered cos he's got two women on the go.

I said, 'They're like buses.'

He says, 'You mean you don't get any for ages then two come along at once?'

I says, 'No... they're like buses.'"