The Automotive Li-ion Battery Sketch

[SeanKHotay]

(written 'Mero-centric (surprise!) but based on reality so yous Brits might get the gist...)

>ding-ding<

Batterybender: "'Morning!"

Battery-Companies-at-Large: "'Morning, sir! Welcome to the National Green Battery Emporium!"

BB: "My green car is feeling a bit sluggish. I would like to order an automotive-grade Li-ion battery for me."

BCaL: "Sluggish, sir?"

BB: "Yes, torpid."

BCaL: "Eh?"

BB: "Yes, pokey, slothful, slow, languid, slumberous, stagnant, stiff, sullen, unresponsive. In a word, I need a new power source!"

BCaL: "Ah, you need a new battery!"

BB: "In a nutshell. As my Hollywood-liberal lobbying activities in Washington were hampered, I thought a bit of packaged electrolytic anode-cathode action will do the trick. So I curtailed my pigeonholing activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some voltaic consumeables."

BCaL: "Come again?"

BB: "I want to buy a battery!"

BCal: "Oh, I thought you were complaining about the CAFE-whining Detroit delegation."

BB: "No, but now that you mention it....DINGELL, WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!...

...Now, in the name of Tesla, about that battery!"

Company B: "Yes, sir, I have one! But my battery might explode as it ages...can't predict 'when' very well, either..."

Company E: "Ah, I have one we call the Li-M burger, sir...The 'M' is for indeterminate 'Molecules', Burger for the shape of the stack...but it releases noxious gases."

BB: "That stinks!"

Company 987Z: "I might have one!"

BB: "Is it any good?"

Company 987Z: "Best in the industry."

BB: "Would I be going out on a limb if I asked you to confirm if you did?"

Company 987Z: "You might be pleasantly surprised, sir."

BB: "Would I now? All right. Okay. Have you got any, he asked expecting the answer no?"

Company 987Z: "Well, right now we're fresh out. We might have one in two years."

BB: "Best in the industry, eh? Certainly clean, uncontaminated by any batteries.

...Let me try this another way. Do any of you have a Li-ion battery that will work 5 yrs recharging w/out incidences in a car for a decent price?"

A+E+987Z: "Yes! Err, not really, sir...."

BB: "This isn't much of an auto Li-ion battery industry, is it?"

A-E-987Z: "No, sir, it's a piece of crap. All vaporware. We were deliberately wasting your time, sir."

BB: "Well then, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

>ring-ring< Hey Bob, you ever do anything serious with that Alpha jet? Want to?"

[mactheknife]

Hi DonK!,

I just pull out the rest of my hair over these idiots with their little hybrids... Yes, I'll plug it in to re-charge it. Ooppss, where did THAT power come from? A coal or gas-fired power-station! Thus, CO2 is being produced, quite a lot of it actually, far from the point of need, and a lot of energy lost down the resistance of the power-lines to get to the charging point! I've been thinking a lot on this lately, and in terms of air-quality, global-warming etc, we are all pretty much wearing Zaphod Beeblebrox's Terror-Chromatic sunglasses (they darken to complete opaque, in response to the wearers' fear) if we think we aren't all just screwed from a great height. The one possible solution, is the immediate nuking of China, Africa, India aand Pakistan, as there are just waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too many folks out there heating, cooking, burning and breathing for us ALL to live. There sacrifice will be a magnanimous one, and I thank them all in advance for it. It took milennia to increase the worlds' population from one to three billion, it will take less than a decade to add one more billion from today. And sure as Hell, we don't need another billion humans on this polluted planet!

[mactheknife]

Oh, and another think DonK,

I've been toying with the idea, among others, of ... Can you get a viable ultra-light two-seater to work, based on four ATB ('mountain bikes', we call them here) bicycle wheels and the chain-driven gears, a tubular chassis, and a verrrry small engine, such as the Honda 4-strokes of between 5 and 15 horse-power used for pumps, tradesmans' generators, the go-karts at your local track..? The ATB's all have suspension these days, and quite sharp disc brakes. We aare only looking for 40mph flat out. I'm sure the 100+ miles/gallon car is out there, and I bet in a warm dry climate, they would be fun!