English Language

[hotdog]

English will be the official language of the Europe an Union (in the next 5

years) The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the European Union rather than

German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her

Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for

improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known

as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be

dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan

have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond

year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make

words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the

new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated

changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double

letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil

agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and

it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary

"o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil

hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and

evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil

finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil

rul ze vorld !!!!

[R32North]

Class !!