vanduara37 Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 2 cows standing in a field one turns to the other and says are you worried about this mad cow disease no says the other one i,m a horse. (sorry but at least i try) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 3rd cow says, "F*** me, a talking cow!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sipperana Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Which proves the first 2 both had mad cows cos there wasnt a 3rd cow there. Or something like that. I'll get me coat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyPence Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Then the chicken milking one of the cows says: 'I knew i wasnt a blinkin farmer' Its got that bad chicken flu disease Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 The pony in the next field was going to say something, but he was feeling a little hoarse. Taxi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 A taxi drove past and the driver thought 'I'm not picking up these boys...they'll be telling shite jokes all the way home!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 "...Besides which, I'm not licensed to carry farm animals." "But I'm not a farm animal, I'm a nurse!" Said the duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 "fecking mad b*stards" Said the quarantine guard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 To which the first cow said, "I told you, I'm not mad, I'm a daffodil." And the taxi-driver said, "That'll be £86.65 please." Because it was along way from the farm to Dover. "And a £40 soilage charge for the daffodil." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Which the daffodil (cow) refused to pay because he didn't want to go to Dover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyPence Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 garcon is your alter-ego isnt he Beez? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 [ QUOTE ] garcon is your alter-ego isnt he Beez? [/ QUOTE ] You've obviously ignored all the posts where I mention Glen Trogg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilB Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 for all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 There aren't enough taxi's - where's XC90 when you need him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanduara37 Posted August 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 anyway! why has everybody forgot about the two cows in the field ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klutch_power Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Two cow's cooking fish...one says to the other 'I like what you've done to the plaice' How many more taxi's are needed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Two parrots sat on a perch. One says, "can you smell something fishy?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Duck walks in to a bar...goes to the barman and asks 'got any bread?' 'no' says the barman 'okay then' says the duck and walks out next day, same duck walks into the bar and goes to the barman. 'got any bread?' asked the duck 'nah' said the barman 'okay' said the duck and walked out next day the duck walks into the pub and goes to the barman. 'If you ask if I've got any bread one more time, I'll nail your beak to the table' He goes off to a table and sits down for a moment. Ten minutes later he goes to the barman. 'Got any nails?' asked the duck. 'feckin no' snarled the angry bar man. 'Got any bread?' asked the duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Penguin walks into a bar and says, "Have you seen my Dad?" Barman says, "Dunno, what's he look like?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beez Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 A bus of ugly people is being driven to an ugly person refuge. The bus driver was upset that he'd been given a job where he had to work with so many unbearably ugly people, so he crashed the bus into a tree and rolled it down a ditch. The bus driver survived with a few injuries thanks to his seat belt, however all of the passengers died! The dead lined up outside heaven and were welcomed by the gatekeeper. 'Each of you get one wish before you enter heaven' he said So the first person in the queue goes forward. 'What is your wish, child?' asked the gatekeeper 'I wish I were really, truely beautiful' said the ugly b*stard 'Granted, enjoy your stay in heaven' Second ugly person approached 'What is your wish, child?' asked the gatekeeper 'I wish I were really, truely beautiful' said the ugly b*stard 'Granted, enjoy your stay in heaven' Third ugly person approached 'What is your wish, child?' asked the gatekeeper 'I wish I were really, truely beautiful' said the ugly b*stard 'Granted, enjoy your stay in heaven' The same thing went on and on until the last person approached, gigglging to himself. 'What's so funny?' asked the Gatekeeper. 'Oh, nothing...do I get my wish?' asked the ugly man 'Absolutely, what is it that you wish, my child?' asked the gatekeeper. 'I wish that all those people who just wished they were really and truely beautiful would go back to being unbearably ugly people again!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 Dyslexic walks into a bra... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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