WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY

[Ari]

>

> LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT

> MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT

> AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME. AS IT

> TURNED

> OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

>

>

> I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER. MY

> KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE

> OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.

>

>

> AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS,

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD

> REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR

> AND

> SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR

> BIRTHDAY,

> LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."

>

>

> I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S

> GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE

> DINED

> INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH

> AND

> I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY

>

> ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL

> DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"

>

>

> I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"

>

>

> SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."

>

>

> AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU

> DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT

> BACK."

>

>

> "OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.

>

>

> SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT

> CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF

> MY

> FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

>

>

> AND I JUST SAT THERE...

>

>

> ON THE COUCH...

>

>

> NAKED.

[malagus]

LMAO!!!!!!