speeding motorist

[smurfette]

police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you

at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps

your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,

you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and

growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar

detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector

unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it,

woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat

belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off

when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your

seatbelt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns

to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk

to you this way, ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

[Sparky]