John_Doe Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Angelina Jolie’s baby asks to be adopted by Cambodian Monday, 16 January 2006 Angelina Jolie’s four-month old foetus has made an emotional plea to be allowed to be adopted out to a poverty-stricken Cambodian couple, on humanitarian grounds. “No baby should be forced to grow up in these conditions,” said the foetus that Jolie intends to name ‘Benificence’. “The self-indulgence, the self-absorption - if I stay with Mum, I’ll be the one raising her.” Jolie, ready for her first gyno appointment“ Then again I suppose it could be worse. Mum could still be with Billy Bob Thornton.” However, the attempted adoption procedure was immediately thwarted, after it was revealed that Jolie might have been at a serious disadvantage in the negotiations. “The Cambodian woman was sober, level-headed and intelligent,” said adoption authorities. ‘Whereas Angelina was…Angelina. It just wasn’t a level playing field.” The soon-to-be-born baby is expected to be the hottest property in Hollywood this Spring, even more so than Winona Ryder’s wardrobe. “I guess it’ll be nice to have someone paying attention to me other than the maid,” it said. “Although I thought OK magazine putting a zoom angle lens up Mum’s duff was a little extreme.” Jolie’s pregnancy has left Brad Pitt’s ex-wife Jennifer Aniston heartbroken. “I always thought that Brad was just one of those good-looking gay guys,” she said. “Certainly nothing in our marriage suggested otherwise.” Nevertheless, Aniston has resolved to put the failed marriage behind her, vowing to concentrate on producing awful movies, rather than awful offspring. The baby is due to be born in July, and NW is due to run their first story about it being bulimic in August. Jolie, ready for her first gyno appointment.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 [ QUOTE ] Jolie’s pregnancy has left Brad Pitt’s ex-wife Jennifer Aniston heartbroken. “I always thought that Brad was just one of those good-looking gay guys,” she said. “Certainly nothing in our marriage suggested otherwise.” Nevertheless, Aniston has resolved to put the failed marriage behind her, vowing to concentrate on producing awful movies, rather than awful offspring. [/ QUOTE ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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