(Arsenal) Happiness is…

[DaddyDub]

...a letter from a disgruntled Gooner

Dear Mr Dein

I am writing to express my disgust at what I have had to witness in recent weeks. As you will be aware when I purchased my cushioned seat in the new Arsenal Soccer ground I was given certain assurances that failure was not an option. Promises were made that the team in red (which matches the v neck I have round my shoulders at every match!) would always be given as much help as possible by the umpire to assure that the visiting group shall never win.

I have to admit that I felt very uncomfortable at break time in tonight’s clash whilst sipping my pims that Arsenal were only drawing, and then to my absolute horror I hear whilst walking back to my 4x4 that PVC have scored and qualified for the next round with a goal from someone called Alex!!! (Now why on earth did he score for them as well???)

Further to tonight’s disappointment I have also recently witnessed wide screen tv defeats to Chelsea (where incidentally I am considering taking my custom) and Blackburn(where the hell is that!?)

Now call me naive but things like this were never mentioned to us at your big posh sods open day at the new bowl!!

Now I have been following the progress of Arsenal for 5 full years now and I am sure you will agree that my loyalty deserves an explanation as to why I now have to take my two sons - Cuthbert and Toby to games that are almost meaningless.

I expect a credit to my season card and also will not expect to pay for a single glass of riocha in the toss pots lounges again this term.

I would also ask that you consider the position of the manager Mr Wenger. I am told that he used to win things and indeed when my die hard support begun the team had not been beaten in the whole of the season. Things have deteriated significantly since and I would ask that you consider the loyal fan when making your next appointment. I have heard that Portuguese fellow is a real good sport and hardly ever loses a game, why not take him?

In closing I would like to remind you that people like me are the life blood of the modern Arsenal. I have seen these people from Tottenham with their songs and their travelling to away matches and I am sure you will agree that people like that are all that is wrong with the executive lounges up and down the country. I would ask that referees are chosen carefully in the future and changes are made until defeat is IMPOSSIBLE.

Yours sincerely

Tarquin Goofboon III

[9969]