jb44 Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Salutations Sniffers Enough! I need to mainline petrol. I must celebrate the miracle that is the internal combustion engine. I need to celebrate those brave individuals who drive. Deep dark driving urge to be celebrated. The opposite of Ralph Schumacher in other words. And debate: Listen, Friends, I have the day from Hell coming up and I need to dip into this hallowed forum frequently, and I want - sorry, need - discussion, impassioned debate and as pure a celebration of the sheer wantonness (Did I spell that right?)of burning the last remaining oil reserves as you fine wordsmiths are capable of. May I start the ball rolling? My candidate for unsung hero of the Sacred Car is a British gentleman by the name of James Tiller. A leading light in the Allard Owners Club, where he is affectionately known as The Captain, Mr Tiller exhultated his Allard at Bonneville. This intrepid Giant took an Allard up to nearly 200mph. wibble. An Allard!? At 200 mph!? Glorious innit? I've seen a photo once of an Allard in the act of cornering; it scared me. Allow me to expand on the nearly 200mph. A mild mannered art teacher decides to slightly modify the classic car he has owned and loved for donkey's years and blows his life savings on a once-in-a-lifetime orgy of speed. The goal was 200 mph - he so nearly made it. And when it was over, did Capt Tiller moan and complain that the car was not right? Or the team shafted him, again? Not a bit of it! He took it like the brave intrepid adventurer he is. And I stand in awe of him. Hail to the Paladin!!! (spelling?)Hail Captain James Tiller!! Hail Allard! I need your nominations for Unsung Hero of the Automobile and make it snappy you useless Bastards (Sorry - Flashback) Wish me luck - my day starts now. Yours Johan Buchner Sniffer-of-the-sacred-nectar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teacake Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I must go now and I shall not bother any of you fine people ever again. [/ QUOTE ] So, a liar as well as a bore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb44 Posted September 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 You find me boring? How is that possible? Johan the Great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanKHotay Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Salutations Sniffers Enough! I need to mainline petrol. I must celebrate the miracle that is the internal combustion engine. I need to celebrate those brave individuals who drive. Deep dark driving urge to be celebrated. The opposite of Ralph Schumacher in other words. [/ QUOTE ] A worthy endevor (oops! err, spelling?) but, as it's on this forum, can we make fun of them? Other than Ralf, I mean, 'cause that's not very funny after so long... [ QUOTE ] And debate: Listen, Friends, I have the day from Hell coming up and I need to dip into this hallowed forum frequently [/ QUOTE ] "hallowed"...Are you on the right forum? Or would a 'Merican spell that "hollow"? [ QUOTE ] ...and I want - sorry, need - discussion, impassioned debate and as pure a celebration of the sheer [/ QUOTE ] OK, now I know you're on the wrong forum... [ QUOTE ] ....wantonness (Did I spell that right?)... [/ QUOTE ] As a 'Merican, I really can't help you here. With an odd sense of humor, we've cars that run on tires, aluminum hoods that only cover engines, boots that only cover feet, curbs that cover the side of roads, and odd colors that cover our cars. [ QUOTE ] ...of burning the last remaining oil reserves as you fine wordsmiths are capable of. [/ QUOTE ] Oh, I get it now... Happy Hannukah/Khanukah/Qhanookuh! (albeit a bit early) (...and however it's spelt/spelled) [ QUOTE ] May I start the ball rolling? [/ QUOTE ] Is 'ball' a euphemism for 'car'? Not good especially if you're a rally driver... No? "Tire", err, "Tyre" maybe? Then, YES, by all means... Just don't start balling...oops, err, bawling...sorry. [ QUOTE ] My candidate for unsung hero of the Sacred Car is a British gentleman by the name of James Tiller. A leading light in the Allard Owners Club, where he is affectionately known as The Captain, Mr Tiller exhultated his Allard at Bonneville. This intrepid Giant took an Allard up to nearly 200mph. wibble. [/ QUOTE ] As I don't know of the man much less the man, can't help you here, either. I can say that Allards are bad-ass lustmobiles. [ QUOTE ] An Allard!? At 200 mph!? Glorious innit? I've seen a photo once of an Allard in the act of cornering; it scared me. [/ QUOTE ] 'Zactly! (English translation: "Right!") I saw several Allards take Turn 1 and Big Bend at Lime Rock (CT, USA) in anger. I 'bout sh!t my pants... ...err, trousers. Pantaloons? [ QUOTE ] Allow me to expand on the nearly 200mph. A mild mannered art teacher decides to slightly modify the classic car he has owned and loved for donkey's years and blows his life savings on a once-in-a-lifetime orgy of speed. The goal was 200 mph - he so nearly made it. And when it was over, did Capt Tiller moan and complain that the car was not right? Or the team shafted him, again? Not a bit of it! He took it like the brave intrepid adventurer he is. And I stand in awe of him. Hail to the... [/ QUOTE ] Oh, just thought of something...'hail' can be a bad thing, nasty ice chunks breaking off Mjollnir and falling from on high (Valhalla?) to dent our pretty cars... But, like a golfball, dimpled things fly straighter & faster down the fast straights... [ QUOTE ] ...Paladin!!! (spelling?) [/ QUOTE ] Looks good to me...but see above... [ QUOTE ] Hail Captain James Tiller!! Hail Allard! [/ QUOTE ] Question: Does a 'Merican spell "Hail" as "Hell"? If no, then Hell Yeah! (EngTrans: Right!) [ QUOTE ] I need your nominations for Unsung Hero of the Automobile and make it snappy you useless Bastards (Sorry - Flashback) Wish me luck - my day starts now. Yours Johan Buchner Sniffer-of-the-sacred-nectar [/ QUOTE ] Just done w/ a crappy week myself...weak excuse but...I'll join the circus. Well, but first, what constitutes 'unsung'? There's the Indian guy...but they made a movie about him. There's the John guy that didn't flip a Merc into the crowd at Le Mans, who invented cars and car safety devices...but he has lots of trophies, racing wins, and at least one book... There's the SoCal racing guru...but everyone invokes his name when they come up with some racing advantage. I've a buddy who's into Kellisons, even more poo-spotting machines...but he's only collected parts and looked lustfully at his unpainted and slightly tainted body as he dreamed of tail-happy turns. There's that yahoo in 'Merica who rescues unloved SAAB projects, especially old racing legends, like an ancient auntie rescues cats...but he hasn't done a completed 'boo' with any of'em and he isn't anyone's hero except for himself. This yahoo snail-paced 'Merican has gots to noodle on this one... (EngTrans: "I must consider the question." in third person) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 Can someone summarise that in English please? 50 words max. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 I think Johan and Don need to rent a cheap motel room, take along some encyclopedias and either bore or beat each other to death. [/wishful thinking] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanKHotay Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 [ QUOTE ] Can someone summarise that in English please? 50 words max. [/ QUOTE ] Really? Even w/ my short, choppy sentences? Altho, yes, granted, that was a really looooooooooong post... How 'bout this: - Don't count on me to spell English, only 'Merican - Allards are scary waste of fun! - Dimpled objects fly further and faster - Don't start balling! - What definition of "unsung hero" are we using? - Regardless, I've no suggestions...yet. - Happy Hannukah! There, 38 words (41 if you open up contractions & count contracted words). 'Kay? Silly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanKHotay Posted September 23, 2007 Report Share Posted September 23, 2007 [ QUOTE ] I think Johan and Don need to rent a cheap motel room, take along some encyclopedias and either bore or beat each other to death. [/wishful thinking] [/ QUOTE ] Request denied. Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb44 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 You have a friend who is restoring a Kellison? - RESPEK! Never mind the peanut-gallery, please write more. But only if you agree that the Chrysler Hemi is the finest V8, yes, even better than the Chevy smallblock. Mickey Thompson and Smokey Yannuck - heroes or villains? Kind Regards Johan the Curious PS Just in case you were wondering where I've been, I spend my weekends in the company of books and yesterday was a public holiday in SA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanKHotay Posted September 25, 2007 Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 [ QUOTE ] You have a friend who is restoring a Kellison? - RESPEK! Never mind the peanut-gallery, please write more. But only if you agree that the Chrysler Hemi is the finest V8, yes, even better than the Chevy smallblock. Mickey Thompson and Smokey Yannuck - heroes or villains? Kind Regards Johan the Curious PS Just in case you were wondering where I've been, I spend my weekends in the company of books and yesterday was a public holiday in SA. [/ QUOTE ] Hmmm, yeah, maybe we do need to find a...err, hold that thought.. <u>Hemi finest?</u> Which Chrysler Hemi? '50s, '60s, early '70s, or '00s? Which Chevy small block V8? '50s, '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s, or '00s? Define finest. Chevy Big Block would be a better comparison to a Hemi. <u>Heroes or Villains?</u> Mickey Thompson - hero Smokey Yannuck - never heard of him...Eastern European w/ a cigarette/fag or fire fetish? Smokey Yunich - hero, almost mentioned in the interactive novel above...just substitute "SoFla" for "SoCal" RESPEK <snap> for the Mickey, Smokey, most SB Chevys, and most, naw, all Hemis I know...just not equally. Guess I'm writing regardless of "Hemi finest"... How 'bout <u>F1 Heroes or Villains?</u>? Keke Rosberg - hero from old days JP Montoya - both hero and villain Ron Dennis - hero Lewis Hamilton - hero Ross Brawn - hero Fernando Alonso - new villain Michael Schumacher - super villain Jean Todt - uber villain Max Moseley - super uber villain 'Tonio Luizzi & Scott Speed - scapegoats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb44 Posted September 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 Well, that will teach me. Of course you are right to question which itteration of Hemi and small block I was referring to. The 1957 Chrysler 300C is the greatest car not to be designed by Bill Mitchell. I'll take mine in black with those really cool after-market wire-wheels ta. Cool Hemi no? But cooler than the 1970 Hemi Cuda? I would be on the horns of a dillema if I could afford either. Small-block Chevy? The undeveloped cliffs of Mt Rushmore beckons me think. 63 split-window Corvette with fuel injection - WWJD? probably. F1 Villains and Heroes. Have you no fear? This is Sniff Petrol; freely expressed opinions scares the lower classes, you know. True! The day after my first attack on the Spaniard, I was contacted by the French Ambassador to SA, offering France's unconditional surrender. Luckily I have no need for another lesser land, so I declined. But it was close. Kele Rossberg? A hero? Harumph, I say. Yes, he may have been a great racer, but pushing his son into F1 prematurely? Nobody appreciates loyalty more than me, but to sacrifice one's first-born on the altar of F1 seems a little excessive to me. Montoya went to NASCAR. His unworthy back is just crying out for the cruel caress of the whip. NASCAR indeed! Is nothing sacred anymore? Your other nominations certainly are interesting, but I am not sure I would describe Todt as a villain just yet. Doing a piss-poor job, of course, but villain? I think that will require one more underachieving season. Michael Schumacher? Not even one as arrogant as I can sit in judgement of the greatest driver ever. I worship the water that man walks on; I've just never liked him. Awe and indifference, go figure! Finally, Scott Speed. Too easy, way, way too easy. Let's just say he's no Dan Gurney and leave it at that shall we? But you are right to critisize me for not specifying which Hemi and which small-block. Most inconsiderate of me. Japanese GP coming up this weekend; I'll post on Monday, promise! Well, I suppose I better get to work. One last thing; I may have gotten confused between Kurtis and Kellison. The Kurtis is the Lotus 7 on steroids, right? And the Kellison; slightly more road-orientated, and a little older? Clarification required please. Regards Johan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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