RedRobin Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 ....Crikey! I've only just read this thread I consider myself very broad-minded but do find physical sex-changers to be people I don't understand. I've met one or two but always felt a bit uncomfortable - I've always given my friendship to anyone though, if they are good people. I'm doing a music collaboration at the moment with an Australian bi-sexual, body-building 'female' - She really does have major muscles! The first song is actually brilliant and we are just completing it - She's a very well qualified sound engineer and is also great on the drums!! I'm kinda glad she's in Australia though, and especially as she loves GTI's!! I think you are being commendably and extremely honest, AZ, by sharing your true feelings here - You perhaps don't know exactly how you will react until it happens. Just go with the flow, mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lottiefox Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 I think the bloke in question has been incredibly brave in telling you - and I suspect that with time you'll accept it and probably find you can still be mates with them. OK, you may end up having a different kind of friendship - the lads curry night is probably off the menu and in honesty is probably not what he/she wants either. :confused: This guy is going to have to go through such a major mental, emotional and physical upheaval that I'd say that if he trusts you enough to tell you, he'll value what friendship you can offer. For the rest of his life he'll have to deal with this and thats not easy. Conversely, he may find that with a new life he actually moves away from friends who knew him as a "he". All you can do AZ is be around for him as much as is comfortable for both of you. I was trying to put myself in the place of one of my girlie mates telling me she was going to become a "he". I don't think it would faze me at all. Ditto a male friend becoming a "she" - another person to shop with!!! Maybe its a bloke thing? :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRobin Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 I was trying to put myself in the place of one of my girlie mates telling me she was going to become a "he". I don't think it would faze me at all. Ditto a male friend becoming a "she" - another person to shop with!!! Maybe its a bloke thing? :confused: ....I think you're right, Lottie - It's very much a 'bloke thing' and most (but not all!) blokes think with their dick and Wicked Willy wouldn't want to go near a sex-changed person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muppetboy Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 It's different for women... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 blokes think with their dick and Wicked Willy wouldn't want to go near a sex-changed person. And, to be fair, most blokes can't for the life of them understand why anyone would want to take a scalpel to WW.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 The good things about this situation are as follows: 1) You're friend has told friends and family that he wants to change gender. This must be an incredible relief for him as he must have felt under a terrible weight and in some respects was living a lie. 2) He felt your friendship with him was sufficiently strong to tell you something incredibly hard for him to say and for you to hear. 3) You were honest with him about your initial thoughts and you have been honest here about not being comfortable with the way he is (or will be). Your feelings of surprise, shock, disgust possibly, are probably fairly normal in such a situation and are probably particularly exacerbated by the fact that you had no idea this was on the cards. However it is important to try and put the issues in perspective here. Your mate has made probably the most difficult decision he ever will and it's one which will be really really hard to live with. He will find that the vast majority of people cannot or will not deal with him in anything approaching a normal way - he will be branded a freak by some - it will be stressful, lonely and traumatic. But at the same time don't forget that he has been incredibly courageous. I'm not dismissing your problems in coming to terms with your mate's sexuality, but they are minor in comparison to what he must have gone through in coming to terms with it. Your reaction when he told you was probably not unexpected, but really he needs you now more than ever and if you can you should try and be supportive - and that can take many forms. If your friendship has to adjust to fit around the new dynamic, as it inevitably will, then so be it. It you are uncomfortable going out with him for a "blokey" night out then do something else like go round his house - it will be difficult, but presumably the characteristics of what made this person your mate are more than skin deep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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