theduisbergkid Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Got a Pug 407 2.0 diesel as a rental at the mo. Pretty sure no-self respecting Tyresmoker will read a full 'traditional' review for such a dull car, so I'll write it in the style of a bad EBay advert instead just because I'm bored and have 10 minutes to kill waiting for a conference call with some Dutch people... RITE, HERE WE HAVE A PEUGEOT 407 DIESEL, BRAND NEW, BLACK, 4 DOOR, 'LUXURY' CAR. 1000 MILES ONLY, EVERY EXTRA. ILL BE AS HONEST AS I CAN WITH THIS ... GOOD POINTS HAS 4 DOORS ITS CHEAP LOTS OF FANCY ELECTRIC BITS ITS NEW BAD POINTS SATNAV SOMETIMES RESETS ITSELF FOR NO REASON. SATNAV WHEN PROGRAMMED TO 'TRAFFIC AVOIDANCE' TOOK ME THROUGH NOTTINGHAM CITY CENTRE IN THE RUSH HOUR. CENTRE CONSOLE HAS 60+ BUTTONS, MANY WITH NO OBVIOUS MEANING. SEATS UNCOMFORTABLE DESPITE MULTI-ADJUSTMENT. ENGINE HAS NO POWER. NONE. NOT A SAUSAGE. PARKING SENSORS SUFFERING FROM 'RAVERS SYNDROME' (CONSTANT BEEPING). INTERIOR SILVER PLASTIC TRIM MADE FROM OLD CD CASES. WHITE DIALS AND RED FONT LOOK 'MAX POWER'. DOOR AND DASH TRIM HAS GAPS YOU COULD HIDE A FAMILY OF BIAFRANS IN. ITS FRENCH. LECCY WINDOWS (SOMETIMES DONT WORK) STEREO NOT LOUD ENOUGH TO HIDE CLATTER OF ENGINE EVEN WITH CHEEKY GIRLS AT FULL VOLUME. CRUISE CONTROL INCREMENTS SEEM TO BE 1MPH, 10MPH OR 100 MPH, FORTUNATELY THE ACCELERATION IS SO SLOW THIS WONT GET YOU INTO TROUBLE. BOOT RELEASE BUTTON IS CLEVERLY HIDDEN IN THE '0' OF '407' SO YOU NEED TO READ THE BLOODY MANUAL TO WORK OUT HOW TO GET IT OPEN. PAINT LOOKS DULL. ALREADY. STEERING WHEEL RIM IS SQUARE = UNCOMFORTABLE. DASHBOARD TOP IS 43 ACRES AND HAS MANY VENTS, ALL REFLECTED IN WINDSCREEN. CAR IS F*CKING UGLY. BIG GAPING GORMLESS FRONT GRILLE CONSTRUCTED FROM OLD COATHANGERS. Avoid. Thats is all. Gotta go, Erik von Winkyhands is callin' .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Sounds like a very fair review to me, having driven a couple. If you have the 2.0 and you think that's gutless, you should try the 1.6 HDi :flush: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustynuts Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Can't argue with a lot of what you said TDK. Reminds me of my days suffering in a 307. Have the headlights gone off for no apparent reason yet? [note: usually happens at night time, just when you need them...] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 It's gone now, thank fook. It was very very very cheap to rent, and did do 51 mpg, but I remain of the opinion you only buy french cars because they're cheap. A 1.6 diesel ? How does it propel itself ? When you look a BMW / Audi diesels, the french stuff is pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Those diesel units are the ones that go into the Fords also. So you'd think they wouldn't be that bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 EVEN WITH CHEEKY GIRLS AT FULL VOLUME Niiiiice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Hey mr Duisberg! We've got several 407's on the fleet, The aircon will de-gas itself at some point when something in the engine bay cuts through an A/C pipe, also the steering rack will fall out, the Suspension will probably collapse too, and there will be numerous electrical faults too! Mind you, my new Galaxy is currently sitting in Fords car park costing me £300 a night in lost earnings due to random electrical faults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Take it to a VAG dealer.. they probably know more about it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hey mr Duisberg!We've got several 407's on the fleet, The aircon will de-gas itself at some point when something in the engine bay cuts through an A/C pipe, also the steering rack will fall out, the Suspension will probably collapse too, and there will be numerous electrical faults too! Mind you, my new Galaxy is currently sitting in Fords car park costing me £300 a night in lost earnings due to random electrical faults. Oooh, not good, how will those students spent £75 on a 3 minute journey home now then ? I rent Pugs as I get them for absolutely nothing (mate runs a big dealership), and would rather put the miles on a rental then take the BMW nearer what will inevitably be an expensive service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Take it to a VAG dealer.. they probably know more about it!! Unfortunately It's a new shape Galaxy so it doesn't share any of the VAG parts anymore! I still cant work out why I bought another Ford after the ST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Unfortunately It's a new shape Galaxy so it doesn't share any of the VAG parts anymore!I still cant work out why I bought another Ford after the ST! D'oh! And I thought you'd learnt your lesson too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Funny that Tipex, your ST had problems, even though you only ragged the arse off it at Donington, Nurburgring and Spa* *Not sure about Spa, spent most of the day locked in the f*cking bogs in the hospitality suite and/or honking up too much 'kwak' and/or avoiding driving that home-bodged Tiger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizze Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 INTERIOR SILVER PLASTIC TRIM MADE FROM OLD CD CASES. Hahaha BTW, spoke to the guy about that house today, will give you a bell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 (edited) Funny that Tipex, your ST had problems, even though you only ragged the arse off it at Donington, Nurburgring and Spa* *Not sure about Spa, spent most of the day locked in the f*cking bogs in the hospitality suite and/or honking up too much 'kwak' and/or avoiding driving that home-bodged Tiger. You mean I'm not supposed to thrash the tits off an ST around various tracks inbetween ferrying paying passengers to the airport/pub/*beachy head? To be fair to the Mondeo, it took it all in it's stride and never let me down once (unlike the new feckin Galaxy), although I pity the fool who buys it as a second hand bargain as it needs at least - New Dual mass flywheel New wheel bearings New injectors New discs &pads new tyres. It was the dealer network that let it all down, absolutely hopeless, and hey presto, they still aren't any better! Re Spa, I'll never forget the "Help, I'm trapped in the bog" phonecall! *Student special Edited October 13, 2008 by Tipex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2008 Hahaha BTW, spoke to the guy about that house today, will give you a bell. Thats a co-incidence Gizze, we went and had a nosey on Sunday with the kids, nice place I'm about until mid-afternoon, then I'm indulging my masochistic side with Ryanair... Tipex, I was so f*cking embarrased to be locked in the bogs, it was a fire door for some reason, so I couldn't kick my way out (despite trying for half a f*cking hour), you answered my distress call at the same time as the thing finally gave way ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_hargreaves Posted October 14, 2008 Report Share Posted October 14, 2008 Quite possibly one of the funniest reviews of a car i've ever read. Nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted October 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2008 Quite possibly one of the funniest reviews of a car i've ever read. Nice one Really ? You need to get out more. More b0ll0cks like this from me here, all plugging sponsors hence very one-eyed - Team Chernobyl Racing - Duisbergs Car Reviews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_hargreaves Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 Those reviews are class, made me laugh like a drain. Quality stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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