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Redneck Logic


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Two Rednecks, Jim and Dave , are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Jim turns to Dave and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without

an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'

Dave thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of

Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math,

English, history, and Logic.

'Logic?' Jim says. 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'


'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that

you would have a yard.'

'That 's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think

logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.'

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must

have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves

to go meet Dave at the bar. He tells Dave about his classes, how he is

signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Dave says, 'What's that?'

Jim says, 'I'll give you an example . Do you have a weed eater?'


'Then you're a queer.'

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