fizzbitt Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 She is 3 and a half and understands (i think) what the word means but lately she wont apologise for naughty behavior. She would rather start balling her eyes out to the point where she almost choking and no matter what you say or do to her she wont stop if you persist on asking her to say 'Sorry'. She wants you to hold her and comfort her but she still wont say the bloody word. Its almost like she thinks that if she says sorry she is admitting to have been naughty in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Set up a naughty step, or naughty corner and put here there. If she manages to say sorry, 50% discount on time allocated at the naughty step / corner. I'd also add that maybe you need to clearly qualify what was done wrong and instill a sense of understanding as to exactly why you consider her behaviour worthy of punishment. Logic being that if she doesn't comprehend a bad deed, why would she see it as being bad and have to apologise ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Forget it. It's nothing. She's 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzbitt Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Thats the thing.. she knows what she has done wrong in most cases. I explain to her over and over again the reason for sitting her in the naughty chair and to no avail. Once she has finally calmed down a few min later when i start to ignore her she does say sorry to me. Also something has just happened now which is odd for the first time. I just put on a new animated cartoon for her which she seems to be enjoying. I said 'So what do you say when someone gets you a present?' She ignored me... so i asked her to say 'Thank you' and we ended up with the same crying session. I really think she is like her mother who has always hated being told what to do since she was a child and still does for that matter. Its like they are bloody stubborn and it really winds me up no end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzbitt Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Forget it. It's nothing. She's 3. She is 3 going on 13.. If she was like my niece who is a bit docile then i would leave it be but she knows exactly what she is doing. Man i sound like a harsh father! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Once she has finally calmed down a few min later when i start to ignore her she does say sorry to me. There's your answer Fizz. Stick to your guns. Don't expect a sorry on demand, expect one when she has calmed down, she's looking for attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 (edited) I really think she is like her mother who has always hated being told what to do and still does for that matter. Its like they are bloody stubborn and it really winds me up no end. Forget it. It's nothing. She's 3. Forget it. It's nothing. She's female. Edited April 12, 2011 by Waylander Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzbitt Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Aye.. its just the time it takes for her to calm down is bloody ages and its hard for the wife to leave her in such a state for long periods of time as she feels like she is neglecting her by working part time as it is. So for when she is at home she dont like Shifaah being upset during the time they do actually get together. Personally i can switch off just fine as long as i know she is not physically hurt and she is just trying it on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Don't worry Fizz - it only get's worse. Stroppy difficult patients? No sweat. At times my 9 yr old? I have no bloody clue. We go from being bestest buddies to (like you said) almost at times feeling I am a victorian father - and still losing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 I am a victorian father Victorian Dad - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Forget it. It's nothing. She's female. Think this just about sums it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biscuits Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Think this just about sums it up +1, swap her for a boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzbitt Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 To be fair to her she is a very good girl but just has a bit of a short temper on her and can go from happy to really sad like a switch (like most kids i know) but her behavior outside the home is perfect. Her nursery teachers think we are chatting about another child when we tell them about her hissy fits. My wife thought i would be a soft touch with her when she was born but aint turned out that way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Think this just about sums it up +1, swap her for a boy Biscuits that is a worrisome suggestion when the quip I was making was directed toward his wife's behaviour! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 How social is the child, do you send her to nursery school ? Reason I ask is that at 'school' children have to be socially responsible, as in no monster behaviour so as not to disrupt the other kids (or to give other kids the idea that poor behaviour is acceptable). It all depends on the crime really, it's acceptable for minor issues since they are still very early doors regarding learning. However if tantrums extends to danger (throwing things, head butting, biting and wanton damage) then that isn't acceptable and a learning curve is required. We also have to accept that where as we might have been thrown over a knee and beaten, such actions are not acceptable anymore. Do you think something like a star system would work ? Collect stars over a week and certain number bring certain rewards, if naughty then stars are taken away and thus rewards removed. As mentioned she's only young, but then again how will she grow out of petulant moodiness, if she is allowed free reign. What is right for one parent is wrong for another, what is right for one child won't work for another. It's a tough call, just be mindful that the way your were raised isn't necessarily the right way for ours in 2011. I'm told water boarding is a cure all........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby_simon Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 She's young; don;t send her to the naughty corner (never really helps); make the bottom step of the stairs; corner the "time out" or "thinking" corner. If she has done something wrong/got in a strop; send here there to "think" about what she has done; standard is age+1 minute thinking time; they get to calm down alone; get to think about why they are there and they also understand that it is not a "punishment" coirner/step; it is a place for them to THINK about what they have done and decide about what they should do. My daugher was the same; and the "naughty" step made it worse; we renamed it the time-out step and within a few days things had changed; she knew it was somewhere she would get NO attention; she was ignored until she had clamed down. You have to let them ball / shout and scream; they will calm down eventually. You need to make it a "pause" before we can talk to you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkPrincess Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Our daughter went through that phase but she is a lot better now. The naughty step seemed to work, and the fact we could just shut the glass door and leave her too it. We also did a good behaviour chart and thats brilliant. Our youngest however is very different and when you tell her off she laughs and then bites :@ She is too young to understand yes and no but I am sure that when she is old enough she wont say sorry lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Great one Chri5! - water boarding. However, the stars system is good. We have used it on our youngest and it is good. They actually enjoy getting them and look forward to showing them off at the end of the day. Letting them ball out is sometimes quite useful - especially with no attention. It is a waste of time trying to interrupt someone who is in full flow - so same for kids. Best get to it now, rather than try to tackle it later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Don't worry Fizz - it only get's worse.Stroppy difficult patients? No sweat. At times my 9 yr old? I have no bloody clue. Ain't that the truth. Try an 8 year old and a 19 year old. I sometimes feel like I'm in the midst of World War III - and no it doesn't get better, it gets worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Ain't that the truth. Try an 8 year old and a 19 year old. I sometimes feel like I'm in the midst of World War III - and no it doesn't get better, it gets worse. Swap a 14 year old gril and a 18 year old man boy ? (although being away at Uni HAS been the making of the lad, he cooked us all spag boll last night complete with basil, mush, garlic, Italian seasoning and it was pretty damn fine !). If yours play up, then you have major bargaining chip- "you will be in the box room at the new house":D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Unfortunately the box room is having its wall pulled down and made into a a sort of second landing with a two chairs and a 'media station'. It should look quite cool actually, but it does mean I can't apply that threat. I've given up on threats anyway, they never work. They just make them worse. Now I just pick my car keys up, grab the iPad, and go out for a few hours. When I come back they've either killed each other or realised that if I'm not around to shout at....what's the point? I've got it sussed now. Remove yourself from the drama - drama stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 All girls houses must be mad, I hadn't twigged that when the lad is away it's 2 v 1 and I lose every time. The 2 saving graces are 1/ there's a few pubs less than 500m away 2/ Often the aghast requires me to do something, and I'll not do anything if you raise your voice or start 'fitting'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 I used to occupy the position of Fourth priority in this house after the 3 females. However, I am now Fifth. Ever since I bought them that bloody dog over a year ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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