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Jelly Baby


Chav
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A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a

Smartie.

After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us

are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"

The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I

always end up getting my head kicked

in.

" So?", Smartie says. "Don't worry about it, I'm a

bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." Jelly Baby

thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as

long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk

in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the

table. The Lockets take one look at jelly Baby and

start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his

little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary

chairs, and generally having a laugh.

After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his

battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes

up his Jelly Baby blood. He turns to Smartie and says

"I thought you were going to look after me?"

"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f*cking menthol".

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