Riz Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Her dad died and didnt cope well...... the reason i was dumped??? Suggestions? Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Suggestions? [/ QUOTE ] Umm, how about posting enough words so we have atleast some clue as to what the hell you're talking about and what kind of answer you are looking for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted July 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Suggestions? [/ QUOTE ] Umm, how about posting enough words so we have atleast some clue as to what the hell you're talking about and what kind of answer you are looking for? [/ QUOTE ]Oooops sorry.... Well she dumped me years ago with out much of a reason, now shes come clean after all that time..... its obvious she has feelings for me..... but she pushed me away..... but then again her dad died.... i dont know what to do.... I can be friends with her but not sure if anything else.... should she have a chance? Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Do you have feelings for her? People can change a LOT in a few years. She might be nothing like she was back then, and that could be a good or bad thing. I guess if you've got nothing to lose then why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyPence Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 If she had felt that you were in a meaningful relationship back then, she wouldnt have ditched you when her dad passed away. Instead she would have relied upon you for support but she didnt did she. Just make sure shes not trying to play you, its all too easy to get hurt again by an old flame with whom you are still terribly fond of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a4tdi130 Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 [ QUOTE ] If she had felt that you were in a meaningful relationship back then, she wouldnt have ditched you when her dad passed away. Instead she would have relied upon you for support but she didnt did she. [/ QUOTE ] This really depends how old she was and what mental state she was in. If it was for example a 17 year old who was VERY VERY close to her dad, I could understand it. If on the other hand it was a 30 year old who saw her dad once a year, then that's a different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 Seems an odd reaction to me. Oh dear, my dad's died, I'd better nip over and dump my boyfriend? Would have thought thats the last thing a girl would do in the circs normally. Women can be very devious Riz, and she could simply be trying to justify her actions and win the sympathy vote at the same time. Also, in my experience women don't change, although they can be very good at letting you think they have if it is to their advantage to do so... Tread very carefully... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saab Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 I think I'd want to get to the bottom of why she felt unable to share her pain with you at the time, presuming you were involved in a caring and serious relationship. I cannot imagine why you would keep something so fundamental from your partner, however people's relationships with their parents are often hard to understand and it may well be that you can accept her reasons in which case maybe you can pick up where you left off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shark_90 Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 Different in every situation this one, but I lost my mum when I was younger and I distanced myself from everyone and everything and became a very reserved person for a long time. She may have thought she needed emotional time to deal with the death of her dad and that she didn't have the strength to sustain a relationship. And she may have regretted it ever since. Worth a chance I say. As xc90 says people change a LOT in that time which could be good or bad. There's only one ay of finding out mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgl Posted July 11, 2005 Report Share Posted July 11, 2005 She might just want you back for your Astravan, ever think of that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted July 11, 2005 Report Share Posted July 11, 2005 Yeah, bet he's got a mattress in the back, fur lining, and a glitterball hanging from the ceiling! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted July 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 Going thru a bad patch at the moment, i think its best i be wise about it and tell her to not expect anything from me. I dont feel anything for her, yes i feel sad for the loss of her father. Thank you for all your opinions. Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted July 12, 2005 Report Share Posted July 12, 2005 Hmmmmm, hard one Neo. Stay away (physically) but be there for chatting and phone calls, coffees odd lunch (NOT dinner). It will help her. And with no physical stuff, easier for her AND you. Hell, she might even respect you more for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted July 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Hmmmmm, hard one Neo. Stay away (physically) but be there for chatting and phone calls, coffees odd lunch (NOT dinner). It will help her. And with no physical stuff, easier for her AND you. Hell, she might even respect you more for it! [/ QUOTE ]Very true, i like to think myself as a nice person, im not heartless... just dont love her. Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo-S3 Posted July 13, 2005 Report Share Posted July 13, 2005 Riz, how you doing yaar? long time no speak. Seriously... leave well enough alone, dont bother giving her the time of day. Dont meet her or even think baout going for a coffee with her! she dint think about your feelings when she dumped you so no when she has supposedly sorted her head out she wants to get in touch again!! Nah yaa, shes off herr head and whatever happens it will be YOU who's mind will get screwed up. Trust me ive been there and done that. You dont need to try to rekindle any kind of friendship with a cold hearted ex. Like we have all said on here there are plenty of fish out in the sea. So why have sardines when you could one day end up having smoked salmon!! Take it easy mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz Posted July 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2005 [ QUOTE ] Riz, how you doing yaar? long time no speak. Seriously... leave well enough alone, dont bother giving her the time of day. Dont meet her or even think baout going for a coffee with her! she dint think about your feelings when she dumped you so no when she has supposedly sorted her head out she wants to get in touch again!! Nah yaa, shes off herr head and whatever happens it will be YOU who's mind will get screwed up. Trust me ive been there and done that. You dont need to try to rekindle any kind of friendship with a cold hearted ex. Like we have all said on here there are plenty of fish out in the sea. So why have sardines when you could one day end up having smoked salmon!! Take it easy mate [/ QUOTE ]Woohoooo nice to hear from you dude. And your advice is what im thinking anyway... Riz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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