Always read the label !

[sotty]

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. I can't believe the last one!!

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be???....

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh?!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my gosh..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[DaddyDub]

[ QUOTE ]

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my gosh..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[/ QUOTE ]

[AntW]

If I remember correctly Stihl chainsaws had quite a large lawsuit in the USA because some hill-billy did exactly that (stopped it with his hands and groin).

Surprisingly I don't think he got a payout as the manufacturers rightly pointed out that "no-one in Germany would be so stupid". Although they were forced to put a warning on...

[patently]

[ QUOTE ]

"no-one in Germany would be so stupid".

[/ QUOTE ]

They'd know that the correct method is in fact to use your head.