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Dead Duck


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A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her

pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the

bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are

you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be

so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or

anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes,

turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a

black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the

dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and

sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes

and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a

few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and

also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook

its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the

woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100%

certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit

a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's

owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!", she cried, "£150 just to tell

me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would

have been only £20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan...

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