Sex

[Bounce]

Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or

something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name,

but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for

a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him.

A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in

the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking

for Sex."

My court case comes up next Thursday.

One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk

asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex.

He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this

is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I

said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years

old."

He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I

wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until

after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my

life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex."

He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and

would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to

the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were

married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from

the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When

I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room

for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk

said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said, "You

don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night", and the clerk

said,"Me too."

One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said, "Show

off!" I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have

sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for

custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was

married" and the Judge said, "Me too."

When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he

said, "Me too."

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and

had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why

just the other day when I went for my first visit with the

psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"

I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like

losing a best friend and it's so lonely."

The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex

isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog?"