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An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself

on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life

... until

the boat sank! The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island

with no other people, no supplies ... nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most

gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he

asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed

here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with


"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw

material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree

branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a

Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or

hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side

of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.

I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted

into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools

to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the

man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him

is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and

white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,

the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.

As they walk into the house, her beautiful breasts bouncing with

each step, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down

please; would you like to have a drink?"

"No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still.

How about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they sit down on

her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to

slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a

shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in

the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed

to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel


"This woman is amazing," he muses.

"What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a

shell necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of


She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,

"we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been


There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now,

something you've been longing for all these months? You know ..."

She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound.

He's truly in luck! "You mean ...", he gasps,

"... I can actually check my e-mail from here?"

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Ari's from the 80's so does he count?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I got here accidently after falling through a worm hole in the space/time continuum. UHOH7.GIF

[/ QUOTE ]

Whoa! You aren't Dr. Evil, are you?

(I took the long way from the '80s)

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You Are 40% Evil


A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.

In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?


Some select questions clarified:

You've harmed yourself to get attention --> Took a nasty spin on roller blades to meet the cute girl I just passed...it worked!

You've blamed a fart on someone else --> The Dog...but no one believed me

You made someone's life hell in school --> The School Health Teacher...but not how you think.

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